Last Call
by ObsessedFanstar58
Summary: "Castle sang songs and told her stories to pass the time, and took relish in the fact that this was probably the last time she would ever allow him to sing to her like this." Following the frightening chaos of the S3 finale. S4 spec. Mixed POVS. Caskett.
1. Ch 1: Open and Shut

**Author's Note: **

**Hi there! Welcome to my very first Castle fic. I am a huge Caskett/Stanathan fan, and have the hugest girl crush on Stana Katic. And I also have a huge crush on Nathan Fillion. If you haven't, you should see him in Dr Horrible's Singalong Blog – he is such an amazing singer! I think Stanathan should sing together again, like they did during the Piano Man scene. That was probably my favourite scene. :)**

**Anyway, once I saw the season 3 finale (yes, I just saw it yesterday, I'm quite behind the times, haha!) I HAD to write something about it. I will hopefully have another chapter up by tomorrow. Also, if you take a minute to R+R and let me know what you think of it so far, that would be much appreciated. :) Also, feel free to tell me my writing sucks and I should never write again.**

**September 19th couldn't come soon enough!**

**Now about this fic – I know there are a bunch done already of these, so I'm hardly original, but I enjoyed writing it, and it just seemed to write itself, so I thought I'd go through with it anyway. This is Kate's POV during/after the "thing that happens to her" in the season 3 finale. Hope you enjoy it, and feel free to give suggestions as to where you want this to go. Anyways, here goes. Apologies for the bad spacing. I tried to fix it, but it kept returning right back to this. Sorry. :(  
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><p>Chapter 1: Open and Shut<p>

_I was falling. Very slowly. I was sinking and sinking, and being pulled down, down, down..._

_I didn't know who I was, I didn't know where I was, or even if I was anyone. _

_Or anything. _

_All I could do was feel myself sinking..."Goodbye" was a word that kept flashing in my mind. It felt like I was submerging in a pool of water, but there was no bottom. I could not see, I could not hear, I couldn't stick out my tongue to taste anything. I had no sensations besides the feeling of sinking. There was no light. There was nothing but darkness, and an infinite abyss of pure...nothingness._

_Was I dying? Had I died?_

_Who am I? _

**"Kate!"**

_What?_

_There was a dull thud. I'd somehow_ _stopped sinking. Now I felt suspended. Treading water, with my mind. Supported by something immovable on my back. I could feel that. I was face up. _

_Who was there? What was that?_

_I had heard a voice. In my mind. It was an echo of an unfamiliar voice that resounded within my skull. Who was it? Reveal yourself! I suddenly felt a fiery strength awake in me. If I was anything, I was brave._

**"Oh, Kate." **

_The significance of that one word was unbeknownst to me, but it captivated me enough to listen. It was begging, pleading, fearful, but most importantly, it was tangible, the only thing I knew was tangible at this point. It felt real; it felt like it was reaching for me. I forced myself to stay floating; I wouldn't let myself sink further. _

**"Ssh, Kate, please."**

_More words. I knew the voice. It was familiar, but I was not recalling anything, or anyone...It was a man. That's all I knew. I felt compelled to listen further, and it was becoming more and more difficult to prevent myself from sinking. I reached out to where I felt the voice was coming from._

**"Stay with me, Kate. Don't leave me, please. Stay with me, okay?"**

_Who is Kate? Was he calling for me? Did he want me?_

_And then it clicked. I am Kate. _

"_Castle..." I whispered, in my mind. He was calling for me. _

_With all my strength, I focused all I had on my weakened muscles and reached out. As I opened my eyes, I felt like I was surfacing, as the pressure lessened gradually. When I reached the top, I struggled, and felt nothing but pain when my eyes were open._

I gasped for air like a fish out of water. I got none. I blinked, and searched through the fuzzy, white mist that filled my field of vision. I felt hurried, like I had limited time. I was still not breathing, but that wasn't what I wanted. I was desperate, but not for air. Desperately needing to see a face. His face.

_Castle. Where are you?_

I felt the wound. A small hole, somewhere between my neck and my left breast. It was all coming back to me. I felt the shot. It had been a dull crack, followed by darkness. The pain was intense, but I didn't have the energy to cry out. I managed to separate my body from the pain, as if I was just a spectator. My energy became consumed with looking. For him. I reached out to Castle, but my body wasn't doing what I wanted it to. I looked in a direction that I felt was up. I was in fear, not knowing what was going on for the first time in my life. I still couldn't breathe. I felt panicked, and a sense of impending doom.

_Where is my partner? Where is my friend? Where is the man that I love more than life itself? _

But then, I felt his presence. I knew he was there, even though I saw nothing. The white in my field of vision was slowly metamorphing into grey. I was quickly running out of time. But despite this, I was relaxed. I felt hollow, not even feeling the once-intense fear and pain. I felt nothing but warmness towards my Castle. At this moment, nothing mattered except that, once again, he was there for me when I needed him the most.

**"Kate, I love you. I love you, Kate."**

_Finally. _I was still blinded, but I heard and felt the worry and love in his voice. He was concerned and terrified, more than I was. My heart broke for him. He finally figured out what we were, but now it was too late for us. I wished I had let him speak; I wished I had told the truth. But now was better than never.

_Castle._

I turned to where I heard his voice, and felt his presence the strongest. Still too weak to speak, I did the last thing I thought I would ever do at this moment.

I smiled. It took a few seconds for my muscles to respond, but I somehow managed it.

I smiled, because at that moment I was truly happy. At that moment, I officially knew that I was loved, and that my feelings were reciprocated. It was the first time I was willing to admit they existed, and that they had existed for years. For the first time, I wasn't in denial about these feelings for my Castle.

My life flashed before my eyes, and I knew I was going. I saw the moment where we kissed, and the turning point of our relationship, where we became partners, in a different way. I was his Turner, his best friend, his voice of reason, his hero, his muse. He was my Hooch, my spunky sidekick, my laugh track, the love of my life, my silver lining.

I was the Nikki Heat to his James Rook, and for the first time I was finally convinced that was all I wanted to be.

_Castle. Castle. I love you, too. _

I wished I could speak, and tell him I loved him back, and I wished I could stay with him more than anything. I felt overwhelming guilt for not telling him my feelings before. I screwed up. All the others had been right. Lanie, Roy, Mike... I should have said something when I had the chance. But at least I could go now knowing that all along, I had had Castle on the same page with me the whole time. I just hadn't known it until now.

So, with a smile on my face, I relaxed. I put my head down, and closed my eyes as I was pulled under again.

_Good night, Castle._

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><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>

**I don't know if this tugged at your heartstrings enough, but if not, then I shall certainly try harder in the next chapter.**

**And as for where it is going, let's just say that our dear Beckett SHOULD have said "see you tomorrow," because it's more hopeful. :)**

**Next chapter will be mostly Castle's POV.**


	2. Ch 2: Just Hold On

WOW. Thanks so much to everyone who added this to story alerts! And a huge thank you to veegood and Trisana Sarrasri for their reviews.

Thanks for the support guys – here's another chapter, like I promised; one from the point of view of Castle.

I found a season 4 teaser video on youtube that inspired some of this. Warning, this chapter has a couple moments of language. Hopefully still okay for T.

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><p><strong>Chapter 2: Just Hold On<strong>

I remembered what you told me the day Detective Raglan was killed right in front of us. I didn't want to remember it, and wanted to put it out of my mind, but your words kept ringing in my head like a bell on the moon.

_It's different when it happens right in front of you. You're close enough to watch the lights go out. _

That day I had been shaken, naturally, but the only thing that was keeping me going was the fact that you were okay. Well, okay in the sense that it hadn't been your blood on the floor of the cafe. It hadn't been your chest with the gunshot wound. It wasn't your life that had been stripped away like the dead bark off a tree, like it didn't mean anything...

I recalled what happened to you. I had seen something in the distance. Something shiny. It took me a few seconds to decide whether it was a threat. A few seconds too long. As I leaped towards you, calling your name, the bullet had already been fired. I was too late; I couldn't charm my way out of that bullet, and it embedded itself within your beautiful skin. I knocked you onto the ground, and found myself on top of you. I caressed your face, wishing more than anything that I could have protected you. I remember blaming myself. I'd failed to convince you your life was worth more than this case. I should have told you I loved you when I had gone to your apartment that day. I should have kidnapped you, or forced you to wear your bullet-proof vest everywhere. This was all my fault. I had looked down at you. Your face was eclipsed by shock and fear, but you didn't scream out in pain. Only you could be this brave even when you were dying.

I called your name, begging, pleading you to stay with me. Please Kate, tell me this was another one of your harmless pranks. Please. More than anything, I wanted you open your eyes and keep them open. Please stay with me. Please. Speak to me, Kate. Mock me. Insult me. Laugh. Be the strong, fearless untouchable cop I knew you were. Or the sweet, fun-loving person I knew you could also be, the side of you that you kept hidden. The side of you that you had just started showing recently, to me.

I told you I loved you.

I told you I loved you again.

I felt strength and weakness at the same time. Weakness, because I was powerless to help you. Strength, because I wanted to kill the fucker who did this to you.

And then, you smiled. I think you heard what I said. You heard me tell you I loved you. You had a sweet little smile as you closed your eyes for what I wished more than anything wasn't the last time...

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><p>The paramedics got there moments after the fateful crack of the bullet. It was only minutes, but it felt like hours, days. I refused to leave your side, until they moved you. The people at the funeral that had witnessed the whole thing, the people that were there already tarnished by Montgomery's death, they seemed unable to cope with their grief. Here they were watching someone else die. Someone very close to them, in the middle of a tearful eulogy. Our Kate Beckett.<p>

It was so wrong.

Lanie and I refused to leave your side. We stayed in the ambulance with you as we prepared for the longest car ride of our lives, not knowing if our best friend and love of our life was going to make it. I'd called your dad. It had nearly kil— I mean, it had been very difficult for me, since I had promised him I'd keep you safe, and now you were certainly not safe. I'd even called Josh, or tried to, but I couldn't reach him. I'd have to try again later.

Lanie had called the ambulance, Lanie had been the next one after me to make a move. We had reacted milliseconds after our Kate had been hit.

Lanie was now on top of your stretcher in the ambulance as I looked on. She was frantically performing CPR. Tears were streaming down her face, and I realized this was the first time I had ever seen Lanie lose it. She, like Kate, was seemingly untouchable in the face of danger.

"Kate, stop playing now. Open your eyes and come walk with me. We'll have tea and cookies and forget all this ever happened."

There was no response from you, not that Lanie expected there to be one. She was calling you Kate. That was such a rare occurrence in the 12th precinct, as close as they all were to each other.

She kept trying, never giving up.

"The bullet is so close to her lung, Castle" she wailed, each word punctuated with firm chest compressions. "I don't know if I'm making things worse, or..."

I couldn't speak. I wanted more than anything to reassure Lanie and resuscitate you. But I was afraid I wouldn't be able to handle it. I wasn't strong enough to watch two of the strongest people I knew struggle for life, and control...

Lanie wiped her eyes, and buried her face in her hands. She heaved as she choked back a sob of anguish. It was as if her heart was caving in. It broke my own heart. But I could do nothing but sit, and wish more than anything that they could save you, that I could save you. I wanted more than anything to help Lanie, and make her feel braver now that she was finally over her head. Now that we were all over our heads.

And then she took her head out of her hands, and with the fiercest look of determination I've seen only on your face, sat up straight, and resumed CPR.

"I won't give up on you, Kate. You're my best friend, dammit!"

I did nothing but watch. I felt only guilt. I reached over, and held your hand. It was heavy and cold, and I feared the worst. I stroked it gently.

"Come on, Kate. Fight back."

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><p>When we arrived at the hospital, they brought you out quickly and rushed you to the ER. Lanie was still on top of you, still compressing, as if it was her life that depended on it. Her hands were covered in blood. Kate's blood.<p>

Two paramedics steered the stretcher as we barrelled down the halls. I ran full tilt to catch up, not letting you out of my sight. There was no way I was going to leave your side.

The halls were dark, and the paramedics rattled off a bunch of medical terms. The ER doors were getting closer and closer. Lanie was getting more and more agitated.

"Stay with me." Lanie begged.

No response from Kate.

"Stay with me!" Lanie pleaded, getting more insistent. "Come on!"

Then she got angry, and raised her voice, yelling directly at Kate.

"Do not die, Kate Beckett. Do not die." How dare she give up? Why couldn't she just fight back like she usually did? _God dammit, Kate Beckett, why can't you just... _

"Come on...Come on." she whimpered, as her voice cracked. The tears started again, but Lanie pushed through them and continued her compressions. She wasn't allowing herself to give up, despite the fact that we were approaching the ER.

Another paramedic caught up, and the one on the left side of the stretcher explained the situation, speaking at lightning-speed. "Single GSW to the left chest, initially responsive but lost vitals right in front of us!"

He turned to Lanie, and said brusquely, "Probably want to switch. We got this."

Lanie was having none of it. She forced herself to be strong, and laid down the law. "– My friend, do you understand me? She's my friend..." She looked down at Kate fondly. She put all her remaining energy in those words, too emotionally compromised to add more. "Kate..." she croaked, covering her mouth.

The paramedic looked at her, and told her more gently, "Then let us save her life."

Lanie stared at him for a few seconds, and knew he was right. She got off the stretcher and cried as she watched them disappear. I caught up to her and watched them go. _Oh god..._

I swallowed, trying to maintain control as Lanie wept bitterly beside me.

_Oh, to hell with it. _

I hugged Lanie close to me, and we both clung to each other as we cried over our Kate.

"You were quite the trooper," I told Lanie, not even trying to keep my voice from cracking. I swallowed. "Kate is going to be so proud of you when she wakes up and learns how you kept her going like that."

Lanie let go and just cried into my shoulder as I rubbed her back and cried with her.

I told myself and Lanie that there was no way she wouldn't fight this. Kate was brave, strong and tenacious. She never lost anything. There was no way she wouldn't come out on top of this. She would fight and win. She was going to wake up, and we were going to be there for her when she did. The others were coming soon, and we were going to have good news for them when they got here.

I hoped more than anything, that that would be the case.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>

**This wasn't the best chapter since I was mostly following the teaser, and I'm afraid I might be suffering from a bit of writer's block, but it'll get better. I promise. Like Lanie, and Beckett, I won't give up.**

**Also, I just wanted to say that I appreciate you. Yes, you, reading this. Thanks so much for reading, and I promise I'll do better next time. If you feel like leaving a note of constructive criticism or encouragement in between me uploading the next installment of this, I would really appreciate it.**

**Next up: probably Lanie's point of view. Or I might rotate between several people. I haven't decided yet.**


	3. Ch 3: Losing My Grip

**Author's Note: **

**So, I'm officially the worst person in the world. I feel terrible for leaving this fic up in the air this long. Can I still use the "writer's block" excuse? As usual, thanks to the amazing people that added this to Story Alerts, and an even bigger thank you to the lovely people (Trisana Sarrasri and gloriajv) that left me reviews, and, ahem, a correction. When I said it was Mike Royce killed in front of Castle and Beckett, I meant Detective Raglan. Thanks for catching that, gloriajv!**

**This chapter, I was going to do it solely from Lanie's POV, but then I thought it might be more poignant to do it from Jim Beckett's POV instead. This is going to be a very special chapter.**

**If you can forgive me for not updating (and if you're still out there), I still appreciate you reading this, and reviews certainly help! :)**

**Sorry for the insanely long author's note. Here goes. **

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><p><span>Chapter 2: Losing My Grip<span>

_1 Month Before the Shooting (Flashback)_

_I told Rick Castle to call me Jim the second time I met him._

_I told him that any friend of Kate's was a friend of mine. And I didn't tell him this, but I secretly felt that we were going to be family someday. Just a feeling. Kate never brought men around to the house, and the few times she did, they were never "just friends." I couldn't think of a time that she'd brought one back, either. Her relationships tended to end weeks after I'd seen "him," and I still haven't decided whether I should take that personally or not._

_So when I saw Rick Castle a second time, for one thing, and was able to remember his name for another, I realized that he obviously was a good fellow, and meant a lot to Katie. Mr Beckett would be too formal given the circumstances. Whether she knew they were "just friends" or not. This was now the third or fourth time I was seeing him, and as far as I was concerned, I was just inches away from hearing wedding bells. _

"_Dad, no. We're just friends. It's nothing more than that," Kate had insisted after I had met him the second time, pleading me to understand. Or was she pleading for herself to understand?_

"_Okay Kate." I said with a wink. "All I know is that he seems to mean more to you than any of your boyfriends did in the past."_

"_Dad, I'm seeing someone right now. His name is Josh Davidson."_

"_Well, then why haven't I met him yet?"_

_Her face softened, and she took my right hand in her left, and put her right hand on top of it. "Dad...Josh is a doctor, a really amazing doctor, and a great guy, but he's really busy with work. I just haven't had a chance to introduce you two yet. That's all." She looked down sadly, and I could tell she was no more convinced of that herself than I was._

_So I let it go._

_My wrinkled blue eyes locked her young brown ones. "Katie, you know you mean the world to me, right?" She looked confused. She knew this. Why was I telling her this? _

_I shook her off gently, and wrapped her in a big hug. "I love you more than anyone else in the world, and that means that everything that's important to you is important to me. I want you to be able to tell me things that are going on in your life, like how you're doing, who you're seeing, and who you're doing." _

_Kate quickly broke free, ducked under my arms, and playfully punched me in the shoulder, like she used to do all the time when she was small and I'd teased her. "Da-ad!"_

_We looked at each other for a moment, wide grins on our faces, after our unintentional flashback to the past. Gosh, I'd missed this._

"_I'm just teasing, darling." I grinned, and tousled her hair lovingly. "Ah Katie..."_

_She nodded, and kissed me on the cheek. "I understand."_

"_Good. Now, when do I get to see this Richard Castle again? He seems to be quite a lovely fellow."_

_My daughter rolled her eyes sarcastically, and turned around in an act of mock defiance. "Never, if you keep suggesting that we're anything more than friends."_

"_Okay, okay!" I raised my hands in mock defeat. "Touché."_

_She jumped almost three feet in the air when her phone rang. "Do you mind if I take this, Dad? It could be work. It'll just be a minute."_

"_Fifty dollars says that's the guy you're not dating."_

_Kate made a face, and pulled out her phone. When her face went blank and she rolled her eyes, there was no doubt as to who it was._

"_Oh, go right ahead, honey," I grinned, and folded my arms. _

"_Beckett." She said, and rolled her eyes. "Hi, Castle." _

_I fist pumped in the air and celebrated my win, and eavesdropped on my daughter's phone conversation. _

"_No, I'm absolutely thrilled that you're calling me at 9 o'clock on a Saturday."_

_There was pause, and then Kate spoke sharply to the other person. "No! I'm not singing that song again, that was a one-time thing!" There was a hint of playfulness in her voice, though she would never admit it was there. I chuckled to myself._

"_So, why are you calling, Castle?...Oh, another one? That's great, congratulations...No, I'm not mad. It means a lot to you, and I've put up with you following me around this long, so...No, I'm busy now, I can't, I'm sorry...Have fun without me...Yes, you can...Yes, you can...Anyways, see you tomorrow...Goodnight." There was an audible "click" as she hung up forcefully and sighed._

_She turned to me, with a defeated look on her face. "So, was that cash or cheque, Dad?"_

"_A cheque. Make it to 'I Told You So Inc.'" I laughed the hardest I had ever laughed since we buried Johanna. "Normally I'd say, go ahead and go wherever he invited you, but since you've already made it clear that you're not dating, and I haven't seen my baby girl in forever, I'd like to have you stay a bit longer." I winked. "Hope that's okay."_

_She smiled, and nodded. "I'd really like that, Dad. I've missed you, and I have a lot to tell you."_

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><p><span>Present Day<span>

He'd called me Mr Beckett today, when he spoke to me. He'd called me on the phone, but that wasn't the only thing that surprised me.

Usually cheerful and exuberant, Rick was now obviously fighting back tears. His voice cracked when he asked for me, and I knew my greatest fear was becoming a reality. He took a deep, shaking breath, seemingly unsure how to start, and I knew.

It could only be bad news, and it could only be about Kate.

I swallowed. I was scared. I can count the number of times I've been scared on one hand.

I found my voice, and asked the question I almost didn't want to know. I put him out of his misery, and cut him off before he could say it.

"Where is she, Rick?"

_I'm sorry, Johanna. I'm so sorry._

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><p>I got to the hospital in record breaking time. I don't know how many rules I broke just getting there, and I didn't care. The only thing that mattered was that my little girl was fighting for her life, and I had to be there for her. I guess the hospital attendants were informed of my arrival in advance, because as soon as I said I was James Beckett and presented my ID, they immediately stopped asking questions, and led me to Katherine Beckett's room.<p>

"She's currently finishing surgery so she's not here, but you are welcome to wait here for her," the tall, gangly male attendant said quickly. "Can I get you anything, sir?"

"That won't be necessary," Rick Castle said, suddenly appearing from around the corner, with two cups of steaming hot coffee. "Coffee for you, Mr. Beckett," he said politely, but refused to make eye contact.

He turned to the attendant and asked a barrage of questions. "How long? Do you know how she is? Can we see her?"

The attendant shook his head sadly. "I don't know. But she could be finished in a few minutes, or a few hours. And from what I've heard about her condition, she could pull through, or..." He shrugged, not wanting to finish that sentence. "As soon as I find out anything, I'll let you know."

"Your name?" I cut in.

"Nurse Francis Lockwood."

"Thanks, Nurse Lockwood," I said brusquely. "We'll look for you in around twenty minutes for another update."

"Okay, sir," he said, and rushed off.

When we were alone, Rick turned to face me. His face was puffy and red, and he looked like he had been crying. He had pulled himself together since that phone call, but he was still shaking.

"Mr. Beckett. I – I'm..."

I shook my head. "No."

He stopped, and tried to continue. "I'm...sorry. I tried to stop her. I really did."

I said nothing. I knew it wasn't his fault, and I couldn't be mad at him. But at the same time, I just wanted to be mad at someone. Someone tried to take my daughter's life away. I couldn't lose her. I promised Johanna I'd keep her safe, and Rick had promised me the same thing. My firm mouth twisted in anguish.

"It's all...It's all my fault," Rick said, fighting to keep his composure. "I couldn't keep her safe..."

I shook my head again, and repeated, "No."

Then, I reached out and embraced Rick in a rugged hug, squeezing his shoulder with my arm. I didn't have the heart to let him feel any worse than he already did. As angry and vengeful as I was, if my Kate was gone, then picking on Rick wasn't going to bring her back. I felt him gasp in surprise, or maybe it was a sob. You'd think he'd never been hugged by another man before.

I whispered, "It's only the fault of the person who shot her." Partly to reassure Rick. Mostly to reassure myself.

Rick's knees buckled, and he dissolved into a flurry of tears. "Kate..."

If Rick was blaming himself, then I was equally at fault. We'd both tried, and failed, to keep Kate safe. Kate was strong, but by god, she was stubborn. If I couldn't stop her, and Rick couldn't stop her, then she was not to be stopped. As much as I pretended this wasn't the case, Kate was a strong, grown woman, and she was capable of taking care of herself and keeping herself out of danger. It was unfair to put Castle in the middle of this, especially when I'd known all along that she would never give up. I regretted that now, almost as much as I regretted not forbidding Kate to become a cop all those years ago. If only I'd known what she was getting herself into..._Honey, you can't fight your way out of a bullet._

"I know, I know," I said soothingly. I spoke again, this time with resolve. "Now you listen to me, Rick. Our Kate's a fighter, and she won't let anyone sucker-punch her, let alone take her life away, and get away with it. She's going to fight this, and she's going to come out on top."

Rick pulled closer to me, and I just held him tighter.

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><p><span>Lanie's POV<span>

Once I knew for a fact that I wasn't going to hear anything new about how Beckett was doing, I gave up on interrogating the hospital staff, and did what I was told. For once in my life.

So I waited. And waited. The seconds felt like hours, and the hours felt like days.

I needed to be by myself, but unless I actually left the hospital, I just couldn't get away from the sick, dead and dying people in the facility. And now my best friend was one of them. She was my _best friend_. I've never said it out loud before, and we've never officially acknowledged it, but, being the only two women at the twelfth, we had bonded together pretty quickly since our very first case together, and I couldn't imagine life without her. But now I was being forced to. And I sure as hell didn't like it.

I leaned against the wall in the hollow, white stairwell, and slid to the floor. There was a dull thud as I hit the floor, and it echoed in the dead silence that filled the room. Ugh, dead silence. Poor choice of words.

"Do not die, Kate Beckett. Do not die." I repeated, weakly, but persistently, even though I was alone. I wiped my tear-stained cheeks, and tried to compose myself.

I looked down beside me, and saw the cardboard coffee tray on the floor, with three coffee cups waiting patiently in it. One for me, one for Rick, and one for Beckett's father, when he finally got here. We could all use our energy right now.

So I made myself stand up weakly. I picked up the coffee, and walked back to Beckett's room.

I could see that her father had finally arrived, and he was comforting Rick now in a giant man-hug. I'd never seen Rick anything but his usually cheerful, annoying self, and I'd never met Beckett's father before. _Well today is just a day of many firsts, huh, Lanie?_

I turned on my toe, and walked out of the room, so that they could have their privacy. The coffee was probably cold by now, anyway. But damn it, I tried. I tried to do something nice, and as usual, it just wasn't good enough. But at least I was outside her room, and I would be there when they brought her back. And all I could do was wait.

I found myself admitting that two strong guys hugging each other has got to be one of the most powerful things I've seen. Powerful, even if it wasn't the most macho. But the fact that it was so emotionally powerful made them seem even more manly, even though that obviously wasn't what was on their minds right now. And it shouldn't even be on mine.

My heart leaped when I considered where the others were. Where were Ryan and Esposito? And Josh? Did Rick call him yet, or was he hoping I would do it? I'd have to ask when the hug was over. Where was Beckett now? How was she feeling? Did she feel pain? Was she okay? She could be awake, up and around, or already dead and buried, and I wouldn't even know.

I hated not knowing more than anything.

I needed someone to tell me that she was gonna be okay, and there was nothing I wanted to know more than the fate of my friend. I couldn't stand that the state of her life was up in the air, as changeable as the eyes of the dying. God, today was really not a good day to be a medical examiner. Or the friend of an brave and brilliant woman who had been shot. Or that brave, brilliant woman herself.

The adrenaline was messing with my mind. I couldn't think coherently. Whenever I tried to get my mind off Kate Beckett, once I was asked to skedaddle by the paramedics, my thoughts were filled with images of Beckett grimacing in shock and pain, screaming out, closing her eyes for the last time, and being laid to rest in a deep grave...

Castle. What was going on in his mind, right now? He must be even more messed up than I am.

I walked back in, and acknowledged Mr. Beckett with a grim nod. I didn't look at Castle. I couldn't.

"Hi," I said gently. "I'm..."

"You must be Lanie. Kate's told me all about you."

"Lanie Parish." I confirmed, weakly. I looked down, and focused on the coffee tray in my hands. She talked about me? I swallowed, and offered the coffee tray out to the two men. I'd already choked mine down. It had been horrible.

"I've brought coffee for you, Mr. Beckett."

"Thank you, Lanie." He took the coffee gratefully, and I'd realized that Castle had already given him coffee. Castle was still holding his, but reached out for more. He didn't say a word.

We stood there, in a really awkward triangle, and sipped our coffee, without speaking, hearing nothing but the hum of the fluorescent lights above us. But then we heard something else; brisk footsteps approaching. We whirled around so that we were facing the door, hoping for an update about Beckett.

My heart beat faster and faster, anticipating information, news, anything. I gripped the empty coffee cup so tightly my knuckles turned white. _Please, God, please._

I watched Castle in my peripheral vision. He was watching, alert for the first time in hours. He swallowed anxiously; just as afraid as I was.

We waited with bated breath as the footsteps slowed, and disappeared, along with the tiniest shred of hope I had left.

_Do not die, Kate. Do not die._

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>

**This chapter was a fair bit longer than the other ones, and it's an attempt at an apology for the lack of updates. Hopefully there will be another tomorrow night. Sorry for the delay, readers! I still love and appreciate every one of you. Let me know what you thought of this, and I'll update faster and more frequently. Also, I'm aware I made Jim Beckett seem a bit dual-personality in this fic - my intent was to show that he is very serious, strong to the public, but he has a special side of him that he reserves for his daughter, and now Castle, because he trusts him. I apologize if it was unrealistic, but I thought it would be interesting to have a father figure for Castle, since he never knew his father, and what better father figure than Mr Jim Beckett? I thought it was sweet, but I don't want to get out of control, so feel free to write me a review and tell me if it gets out of hand. :)  
><strong>

**As usual, thanks for reading, and even more so for reading AND reviewing! ;) Have a great day!  
><strong>


	4. Ch 4: Castle Leaps Into Action

**Author's Note: **

**Well gee whiz, guys, you sure know how to make an author very very happy. :) Thanks so much for sticking with this fic, and leaving me such lovely reviews! I really appreciate each and every one of your reviews! So I'd like to give a shoutout to Gloria, caskettismagic14, NessAliceLautner, allieboballie, glo1196, and Trisana Sarrasri **** – thank you all so much for reading and reviewing. I really appreciate it. :)**

**This was supposed to be up last night, and I apologize that it wasn't.**

**I hope you like this chapter. This is completely from Castle's POV. Feel free to tell me if you feel that I've been neglecting a character. I know I've been neglecting Ryan and Esposito...and I feel bad, but they'll be in here soon enough. The last chapter was special, and this one is going to be a touch of comic relief, since I think you guys need it a lot at this point in the story, and lots of information. You're also going to have to suspend disbelief a fair bit in here. But I hope you like it. :)**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 4: Castle Leaps Into Action<span>

Castle's POV

For the first time in my life, I was speechless.

I had no silver lining.

I had nothing.

Kate was severely injured, and we didn't know if she was going to be okay. We'd already waited exactly 206 minutes in the hospital with no updates on her progress, and every one of those minutes, the three of us were living in fear, as there was nothing the paramedics could tell us about how she was doing.

Nothing that they _would_ tell us, at least.

I'd had enough. I was waiting, and Lanie was waiting, and Jim Beckett certainly deserved to know his daughter's condition. She'd been classified as being in grave condition when we first brought her here, and we'd heard nothing since then. That wasn't good enough, and I was going to find out.

I stood up quickly, causing Lanie to flinch in surprise (she had been sitting, immobilized, beside me for about half an hour.) and walked over to the door.

"I'm going to see what I can find out," I said, softly.

"They probably won't tell you much more then they told me," Lanie said cynically. "But at least it's a hell of a lot better than waiting."

"I know someone that works here. Just an acquaintance, but better than nothing, I guess. Let's see if we can get some answers."

"You have a guy EVERYWHERE." Lanie said incredulously.

"I know," I said, with the slightest trace of a smile on my face. I was about to walk out, but then Jim Beckett spoke.

"Thanks," he said quietly. "Go get 'em, Rick."

"Wait, Rick!" Lanie called, stopping me in my tracks.

"Yes?"

She looked at me guiltily, like she was about to ask something that she felt bad about for some reason.

"I...um, did you call Josh?"

"I've tried him on his cell every fifteen minutes since we got here. No answer." I said, trying to hide the guilt that I felt. I knew Kate would want him here, and he wasn't, despite my best efforts. I owed it to Kate to get him here, and as long as I didn't do everything in my power to get him here, I was failing her.

"Did you try his office?"

"Their voicemail is offline for some reason, and there's no answer, so I'll have to go there in person, once I get more information about Kate. I've got to track him down one way or another."

"Okay. Good luck."

I left, and went straight for reception. I really hoped this would work.

* * *

><p>I scanned the counter, looking for my guy, and saw only two women there. There was an older woman with obviously dyed orange hair and bags under her eyes. She was wearing black bellbottoms and a strange tye-dye scrub shirt that looked less like a garment and more like she was wearing a green sheet covered with the lunch of one of her patients. Adding an even stranger accent to the ensemble were the bright pink sequin earrings that dangled from her earlobes. She reminded me of my mother.<p>

This reminded me that I had to call Mother, and Alexis. I hadn't seen or spoken to them since we left the funeral.

I cleared my throat, and waited until she looked up. Her nameplate read "Maud."

She looked at me with a strange look, like she was trying to figure out where she'd seen me before. I was used to this, and didn't bother to explain who I was. Yet.

"Can I help you?" she asked, in a deeper voice than I was expecting.

"Yes. I'm looking for a friend of mine." _Friend._ That was generous. But realistically, I was famous. People tend to _want _to be my friend, and often claim they are, even if I barely know them. It's my cross to bear, but right now, it would come in handy. Hopefully.

"It's an emergency and I really need to speak with him right away," I added, trying to use a tone that meant business, but wasn't overly intimidating. The tone that Beckett used all the time when she was speaking to people that she was questioning.

"Name?"

"His name is George Elmann. Can you page him or something?"

"I'm not at liberty to do that for a complete _stranger_." She was fishing. She still wanted to know who I was. She recognized me, but the fact that she didn't know who I was was eating her alive.

"Well, could I have his cell number then, please?" I asked, trying to keep my voice level, and not showing my growing impatience. _Think poker, Ricky. Show no emotion. You don't want them to think you're a psycho._

She folded her arms and looked me up and down in disbelief. "Who might you be? Why don't you have his number yourself, if you're a 'friend?'"

"I lost all the contacts in my phone, and since I moved, I haven't been able to contact George to get it back. And now it's an emergency." I crossed my fingers under the counter. Would she buy it? Oh, lightbulb. "My name is Richard Castle, if that helps." I smiled enchantingly at her. Would she take the bait?

"Richard...Castle? The novelist?"

"In the flesh." I've always wanted to use that phrase.

Her jaw went slack, and her eyes widened. "That-that's amazing. I knew I recognized you from somewhere!" She fumbled around in her purse, until she pulled out a small volume. "I was reading Heat Wave on my break. I have it right here. Would you be do kind as to sign it?"

I winced at the sight of the book. It reminded me that my muse, and more importantly, my best friend – slash – love of my life was fighting for her life. I turned it over so it was facedown.

"Um, Maud, here's the deal. I'll certainly sign this book for you, and any other books you want me to, if you get me George's number."

"You got it, honey."

* * *

><p>"Hello?"<p>

"Hi there, George, it's Rick calling."

"Who?"

"Um, it's Castle. Rick Castle."

"Castle, Castle..." Seriously, dude? Don't you read?

"26 bestsellers?"

"Huh?" He really couldn't remember me. I would be offended if I didn't have a mission at hand.

"Oh come on! We went to the same creative writing class. At Serenity Prep."

"Oh yeah...Dude, that was in college! How am I supposed to remember you?"

"Uh..." Well gee whiz, maybe because I went on to become a famous novelist, and you gave up on your dream so that you could practically anonymously clean up other people's_ –_

" – Hold on. Weren't you the guy that introduced yourself as 'the next Ian Fleming'?"

Oops. The Richard Castle that I had been in college was even more arrogant than I had remembered. I laughed awkwardly.

"Uh, hahahaha...I don't remember. All I remember was that your character just seemed so strong, and admirable. I remember he was quite inspiring..." I coughed. Ass-kissing was not something I did best. It was something that other people did best _to me_. I felt like I wanted to take a shower now. "But, I'm calling, because I really need your help, and I'll owe you anything if you agree to help me."

George paused uncertainly, clearly suspicious. "What kind of favour?"

"I can't get any information about how my partner is doing. She got shot almost 3 hours ago, and we haven't heard anything about her. We're all really worried. Any chance you could maybe go behind the big white doors, check in on her, and report back to me so I know how she's doing?"

"...Uh...gee, man, I don't know..."

"Please, old friend?" I begged. Ugh, this whole begging thing was really humiliating. But it was for a good cause.

"We were never friends."

"Okay, then you would be helping out a fellow man in a very big crisis. I love her." I swallowed, and continued. "I need to know she's okay. So does her best friend, and her father. We've all been waiting for hours. Haven't you ever been in love, George?"

He clicked his tongue. "Why should I help you? What's in it for me?"

Oooh, the secretly slimy medical professional. If this was any other time, I would love it.

"Because I will do anything to repay you."

There was a pause as Elmann considered this. "I just go in, walk out, tell you how she's doing, and then you owe me one, right?"

"Exactly."

"Fine. What the hell."

"Oh, thank God. You will not regret this, Georgie, you will not regret this! I'm in Room 419."

"Well, my break's over, so I gotta run. But I'll meet you there in fifteen minutes."

"Thank you so much!"

Click.

Okay. So now we had a chance at some information about Kate.

* * *

><p>"<em>...You've reached Dr Joshua Davidson's office. Unfortunately we are experiencing technical difficulties and our voicemail service is currently unavailable. You are welcome to drop by the office at 12212 Lexington Rd, if you wish to speak with one of our doctors." Click. Dialtone.<em>

Damn, I'm going to have to go there in person. Hurry up, George.

My pocket vibrated, and my heart skipped a beat in the hopes that it was Josh. But it was Alexis, someone I both wanted and didn't want to talk to right now. I didn't want to worry her, so I wanted to talk to her. But I knew she would ask a lot of questions, and I had no information to give her.

I chose to answer the phone.

"Dad! Dad!" Alexis cried.

"Easy, honey, I heard you the first time." I said soothingly.

"Are you okay? How is Detective Beckett?" She was hysterical, her voice the audible embodiment of how I felt on the inside.

"I'll be okay if she's okay," I said truthfully, trying to keep the emotion out of my voice.

"Do you want me to come over there?"

"No, Alexis. It's probably best if there are as few people as possible..." But I wanted her here more than anyone. Besides Kate of course.

Alexis said nothing for a few seconds, then replied, "Call me again, and I'll be there like 'that.'" She snapped her fingers.

"Thanks darling. I love you."

"Love you too, Dad. And I'm serious. The second you hear anything, or you want me there, call me."

I did want her with me right now, but I didn't feel right bringing her here when things were so unstable. No way I could bring her here and have her sit and wait in terror like the rest of us. I would call her when I had something to tell her. Preferably something good.

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><p>George arrived at room 419 moments after I finished the call with Alexis. He didn't look at all like I remembered him. He was about 30 pounds overweight, balding, and unshaven. And about a head shorter than me. Not the handsome and talented budding writer I remembered from our college days. When he saw me, his eyes flashed, clearly thinking the same thing.<p>

"Hi George," I said politely, shaking his hand. "Thanks again for doing this. This is Lanie, and uh, Mr. Beckett."

Lanie smiled, but it was gone as quickly as it appeared. Mr. Beckett did not smile or say anything.

"How's Katie?" he asked.

George cleared his throat. "They found and are working on removing the bullet. It was a bit hard to remove since it was just two centimetres away from her heart. She's lost a lot of blood. She may need a blood transfusion."

My eyes widened. "Oh my god."

George continued. "They were able to remove the bullet, without causing any danger to her internal organs. She was very very lucky. She must have moved slightly when the bullet hit her, because it was so close to her heart, the person who fired the gun must have been a trained assassin." He said this part very gently, and followed it up with a quiet, "Sorry."

Lanie covered her mouth and stifled a sob. Jim Beckett showed no emotion apart from the tightening of his fists so hard that his knuckles turned white.

"Wait, what? She moved?" I asked, not understanding.

"The bruises on her body are consistent with the scenario that someone tried to push her out of the way when the shot was fired," George explained. "That someone prevented the shot from killing her instantly."

I swallowed, and felt the eyes of Lanie and Mr. Beckett on me. I pressed him for more.

"If they removed the bullet, why are they keeping her in the OR? Is she going to be okay?"

"We're still removing parts of the bullet. She's currently unconscious at this time. The bullets the would-be killer used were extremely powerful. They were high calibre, and were intended to explode into several different pieces on impact. The person that shot her wanted her to die. This was an attempt at an overkill. If that shot had hit her point-blank, her heart would have been absolutely destroyed, and her body would have gone into immediate shock. She would have died instantly."

This was sure not easy to hear, especially when he still hadn't told us if she was going to be okay. I shuddered, and put my head in my hands.

"So if the bullet exploded inside her, can you be sure of the type of bullet that hit her? Those bullets can probably be traced very easily. Maybe they were custom-made?" Mr. Beckett asked, thinking hard.

George shook his head. "We couldn't maintain the integrity of the bullet. Many of the particles hit her ribs, and a couple of her ribs have been broken. It will take a long time to remove all the bullet fragments, and that process is very difficult. It will be almost impossible to remove all of them, but completely necessary, as leaving them in can cause many problems. We're still working on removing all the pieces. We don't have any way of knowing how many there are."

"But something we do know about the bullet," George continued, "is that this type of bullet is outlawed in the public market. Once we get all the pieces out, we'll send them to the police station so they can attempt at reconstruction."

"Is she going to be okay?" Lanie asked firmly. George had failed to answer that question.

George sighed. "I'm afraid to make any promises I can't keep."

"Just tell us what you know, then." Lanie persisted.

"I know she was upgraded to critical condition by the time I got there. Things look unfavourable, but we're making progress. Surgery should be finished in another hour, and I'll send another person to you for an update. There is about a 70% chance she will live, so there is reason for hope."

_Upgraded to critical condition_. That is definitely not something you want to here about someone you care about.

"Thank you, George. You've been extremely helpful. Call me when you want to negotiate that thing you want me to do. I owe you one."

He nodded, and left the room.

* * *

><p>I sat down and sighed deeply, with my head in my hands. Kate had been so close to death. So ridiculously close to death. And she still wasn't out of the woods yet. But at least we had some information about how she was doing. And some cause for hope. Finally.<p>

"You were the one who pushed her out of the way, weren't you, Rick?" Mr. Beckett asked me.

I looked up at him. "I tried. It still hit her."

"But Castle, didn't you hear what he said? He said the little distance she was moved prevented her from dying instantly. You were the one who moved her. You were the one that saved her." Lanie said, stubbornly.

"I didn't save her." I said flatly. If I moved her a little bit, I've now allowed her to be in unbearable pain instead of just being killed instantly. She could still die. If she did, she would die more painfully than if she had just been killed instantly. The reality of the situation was starting to become unbearable pain to me. I could only imagine how Kate was feeling.

"You couldn't have saved her." Mr. Beckett told me. "But at least you gave her a fighting chance. You risked your own life in the process. I know you would have taken that bullet for her if you could have. If Kate was awake, I'm sure she would be on the fence between kicking your ass for risking your life for her, or being unbelievably proud of you, and grateful more than anything." He put his hand on my shoulder, and smiled. "I'm proud of you, Rick."

I smiled grimly, and stood up.

"I need to call Alexis, and go get Josh. Kate needs him here, especially if she'll be out of surgery in an hour."

Mr. Beckett nodded.

"You're a great guy, Castle." Lanie said gently, with a small smile. "Man, are we lucky to have you."

I felt my face get hot. Was this modesty I was feeling? It was so foreign. "I'm lucky to be here. You've all done so much for me. Especially Kate." I swallowed, feeling emotional again. I had to get out. "I've got to go. But I'll be back."

And with that, I got up and left the room, mentally praying that Kate's condition would continue to improve. Critical was still very very close to dead. And I didn't know what I would do if she died...So I focused on getting Josh here. Even though I personally thought he was an ass for being unavailable only at the times his girlfriend needed him the most, he needed to be here, and Kate would probably want him here too. Right now, Kate came first, and my personal opinion of the guy meant nothing.

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**Next up: "Ch. 5: Rise and Fall." Castle goes to find Josh, and Kate's condition changes. Alexis, Ryan and Esposito arrive.  
><strong>

**As usual, I really appreciate your thoughts, so if you have time (and motivation) to leave me a review, that would be awesome, thanks! :) I won't leave you guys dangling too much longer, I promise. I appreciate you all sticking with this fic.**


	5. Ch 5: Rise and Fall

**Author's Note:**

**Thanks again to gloriajv, glo1196, Feedthebirds, and caskettismagic14 for their reviews! I really appreciated them, and they mean a lot more than I can really express into words, haha. :P**

**I also want to say thanks to everyone who added this to Story Alerts – that made me really happy too. Here's another chapter for all you great people, starting from the point of view of someone a bit unexpected.**

**Massive chapter. **

**Each one is getting bigger than the one before it. I think I might have to cool my jets a bit. Sadly it won't be like this.  
><strong>

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><p><span>Chapter 5: Rise and Fall<span>

Josh's POV

"Dr. Davidson, there's something wrong with our phone. It's not working!" Lulu wailed, holding the portable in her left hand, and pointing at it with her right. My god, she was incompetent. I would have to find a new receptionist as soon as possible.

"I'm a little busy right now, Lulu," I said through gritted teeth. She knew better than to bother me when I was on level 7.15 in Angry Birds. It was my first break in who knows how long. Today was the first day I could shut off my phone, book all the other doctors solid, stay in the country for once, and just take a morning in my office, all alone, without interruption. I guess that was just a little too much to ask.

"I would call someone to come fix it, but..." Lulu looked at me with wide eyes, and threw her hands up in the air, and then put them on her hips in a defiant stance. "...we have no phone!" She was the mouthiest receptionist I've ever met. This would be the last time I hire someone half my age, even if they were good-looking.

"Here, take my cell. You'll have to turn it on. You can do that on your own, right?"

Lulu rolled her eyes, and walked back to her desk with my phone, muttering something about quitting the second her university tuition was covered.

Whatever. I went back to Angry Birds.

* * *

><p><span>Castle's POV<span>

I got in the car, and dialled my phone while I did up my seatbelt. Josh's cell phone number. Just one more try. It gave me the shock of my life, when I actually heard it ringing.

"Hello?" A female voice was on the other end. A young female voice. Huh?

"Uh..." I started, unsure of what to say. "Is Josh there?"

"He's a bit busy." She said, a little bit snippy.

"Who's this?"

"I'm Lulu."

_Lulu? Who was Lulu, and why was she answering his cell? _Whatever. I had more important things to think about right now. "Um, Lulu, I tried to call the office, but the phones are off. Is there any way I can reach him? It's an emergency."

"Yeah, the phones aren't working."

"Well, can you put me through to him? It's an emergency."

She sighed. "I'll try. Give me a sec. Yo, Boss!"

In the background, I heard snippets of an angry Josh Davidson. "Dammit, Lulu!" - I swear to God" - "Fine, give me the damn phone!" Sounds like the guy wasn't the angel he was said to be.

"Josh Davidson. How may I help you?" He asked pleasantly, an immediate contrast to how he was in the background a few moments ago.

"This is Richard Castle."

"Oh." His tone was immediately less civil. "What would you be calling me about..._Ricky_?" The way he emphasized my name was quite patronizing. I did not enjoy being patronized, but I was here on a very specific errand.

"I'm on the way to your office, and you really should come with me when I get there." It was getting a bit hard to drive while on the phone. This was so not how it was supposed to be in the movies.

He stammered for a few seconds. "Um, why? I'm extremely busy right now, and, no offence, but I really can't be bothered right now."

_Oh, how rude! _I cleared my throat and let him have it. "Listen, Josh. I'm not coming over there because I want to spend quality time with a man who hates my guts. I'm coming over there because Kate's in trouble, and she needs you right now. So man up, and be ready to leave when I get there."

There was a long pause, and I imagine if I was seeing his face right now, it would be turning all kinds of amazing colours.

"Um, what? Did you say Kate's in trouble? What's wrong?"

I swerved as I almost drove into a parking median. "Listen, I can't talk right now, but I'm coming to get you. I'll be there in ten. Be ready and waiting in the parking lot, okay?"

"Okay."

* * *

><p>He was waiting there for me when I got there. Good.<p>

I pulled up beside him, reached over and opened the passenger side door so he could get in.

"Get in!" I barked, when he didn't make a move right away. The traffic was starting to pile up, and I wanted to be back at the hospital as soon as Kate was out of surgery.

Josh quickly got in the car, and shut the door behind him. When I started the car again and got back on the main road, he decided it was safe to ask me some questions.

"What's wrong with Kate?" He asked, incredulously. Did he seriously not believe me? I sensed a bit of fear in him, but I don't think it was fear for Kate. You'd think he thought I was going to drive him to an abandoned alley and slit his throat.

"She's in the hospital." I swallowed, and watched the road. "She was shot at Montgomery's funeral this morning. She's in bad shape, but surgery should be finished soon."

"Oh my God..." His eyes widened in shock, and he put his head in his hands. "Wait, this morning? It's like four o'clock now. Why were you there? Why didn't you call me right away?"

I took my eyes off the road for a second to glare at him. "I said it was at Montgomery's funeral. I was there. She got shot. Lanie and I were there with her on the way to the hospital. Her dad's there now, too. And none of your phones were working, remember?" I said the last part with a slight accusatory tone.

He shut up, and then started moaning. "Oh my God...oh my God..."

I wanted more than anything to beat him up for it, but Kate wouldn't want there to be conflict between us, and he probably felt bad enough for being unavailable AGAIN when Kate needed him.

"Do they know if she'll live?" he asked me.

"Not yet," I said quietly but gently. "They told us she had around a 70% chance of survival. We'll know in about half an hour, when we get back to the hospital."

"70%. That's not bad."

Not bad? It's still a 30% chance too high that she would die. Anything higher than a 0% chance of Kate dying was too high for me. But I took it easy on him, and just said "Yeah."

"Kate's brave. And strong. There's no way she'll let this thing lick her." I told him. I was starting to believe it. I was starting to hope stronger and stronger by the minute. I really believed she would be okay, and the thought of being able to hug her when she woke up was enough to make my heart beat faster and faster.

"Maybe," was all Josh chose to say. "I can't wait to see her."

And then I realized that when she woke up, things would be no different than before. She would be with Josh. I would still love her. I loved her enough to not want her to ruin what she had, if she was happy. I would have to accept that she probably didn't love me back, or if she did, she sure wasn't going to act on it.

"I'm going to propose to her tonight. When she wakes up." Josh said, looking me right in the eye through the rear-view mirror.

I almost crashed the car. Um, WHAT?

I tightened my grip on the steering wheel, and forced myself to say "Congratulations."

"Thanks," he said with a smile. But it wasn't a very nice smile. It was the kind of smile you give a person after you've taken the last cookie, and you get to eat it in front of them.

We didn't say another word after that. I was bringing him to the hospital. I was bringing him to see Kate. He would be alive when he got there. That's all that was expected of me. That's all I had to do.

* * *

><p>I walked with Josh towards room 419, and was immediately greeted by a red-haired girl running at high speed down the hall, towards me, and hitting me really hard with an "Oomph!" I was winded for a second, and looked down and saw that it was my darling daughter Alexis embracing me. Lanie stepped outside the door, looked at Alexis and mimed a phone, with a smile. She'd called Alexis for me. I mouthed "thank you" and put Alexis down so I could talk to her.<p>

"For someone this skilled in physics, you'd know that hugging someone at high velocity is quite painful. You trying to kill me, baby bird?" I said with a wink.

"Sorry Dad, but there's good news!" She said brightly, with big blue eyes wide, and bouncing up and down excitedly.

"Is it about Kate?" Josh and I asked in unison.

"Yes! A paramedic dropped by and said that apparently they're about 99% sure they removed all the bullet pieces, so they finished surgery early. You're just in time. They're bringing her down any minute, and it looks like she'll be okay!"

"YES!" I said, excitedly, picking Alexis up and hugging her tightly again, like I used to do all the time when she was small.

Alexis and I went inside room 419, and I saw that Ryan and Esposito were there as well. They would tell me later that they had attempted to find the shooter all day, but had had no luck. They wished they had been here with us, but were thrilled that they got to see Beckett when she got out of surgery.

I saluted them with a smile, and wrapped her, Lanie, Mr. Beckett, Ryan and Esposito in a tight group hug. Finally all our waiting, all our terror, all our dashed hopes, all of it was finally dissolved into pure happiness and relief. I let the tears of happiness roll down my cheeks, and this time, waiting for Kate was pure excitement instead of dread and anxiety.

* * *

><p>They brought her about fifteen minutes later on a gurney, and even though there were tubes and IVs sticking out of her, and she looked so small and fragile, they assured me that her condition had improved considerably. Despite the tubes and IVs that made her look tiny and weak, she still was stunning. Her beautiful, long-lashed eyes were closed and she looked completely at ease, with her brown hair spread out on her pillow like a princess'. She was dressed in a white hospital gown, and there was a thick dressing wrapped around her middle. Kate was now upgraded to fair condition. She would likely be in pain when she woke up, but her indicators and vital signs were quite favourable. They told us happily that she would survive, but would have to stay in the hospital for a few weeks while she recuperated and they watched her for any signs of infection or sepsis, in case of that1% chance that there was still a bullet fragment inside her.<p>

"We were afraid she wouldn't make it for a while, but she proved us wrong." one of the paramedics – the same one who had brought her in – remarked with a smile, as they brought her in, and transferred her gently to her hospital bed. "She's quite the fighter."

"We know," Lanie, Mr. Beckett and I said at the same time. We all smiled and sat in chairs a few feet away from Kate so we didn't crowd her. Josh stayed right beside her bed, and held her hand.

"How long until she wakes up?" asked Alexis.

"That's up to her," the paramedic said, encouragingly. "She's in a drug-induced coma, so that her body can heal. Right now she can't feel any pain. Sometimes it takes up to a day to regain strength, sometimes only a few hours. We can call you when she wakes if you want, but it would be good to have someone here in case she wakes up and is frightened because she doesn't know where she is. She's going to be in a lot of pain when she wakes up."

"I have to work tomorrow..." Josh said uneasily. "I'm the head surgeon at the other hospital on the –"

"–I'm afraid we'll have to go back tomorrow too," Ryan said, regretfully, cutting off Josh.

"Dead people don't wait. Especially without the Captain," Esposito said sadly. But then he looked at Kate and smiled. "But at least now we know our _hermana_ will be okay." He reached out and smoothed Kate's hair.

_Hermana._ The Spanish word for "sister." I clenched my jaw so I wouldn't cry. The 12th precinct really was more of a family than a collection of coworkers.

"Me too, unfortunately," Lanie said. "I'm sorry, Kate." She kissed two of her fingers, and gently touched Kate's cheek with them.

"We'll visit her again right away on our breaks, and after work," said Ryan. "We'll be here every moment we can."

Alexis grimaced. "I want to be here, but I have my physics exam tomorrow morning."

"I'm staying with her." I spoke up, and looked over at Mr. Beckett. "I'm not leaving you here alone."

He smiled and nodded at me. "Thank you. I'm not leaving this place until Katie wakes up."

"Is there any way we could transfer her over to my hospital?" Josh broke in. "I can keep an eye on her very easily that way."

The paramedic shook his head. "I don't recommend moving her more than it is absolutely necessary. Intense stress could cause the wound to reopen. Katherine Beckett needs to stay here until she is discharged."

Josh nodded, but wouldn't look at any of us. He seemed bitter.

"Visiting hours are over shortly. If you're not staying overnight, then I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave." The paramedic said regretfully.

Everyone got out and said their goodbyes to Kate, thankful that it was really just a temporary goodbye and that they would see her when she woke up. Josh lingered longer than everyone else and looked at me with the biggest stink eye I think I've ever seen. I'd driven him over, so he needed to get a ride back to his clinic (and his car) with Ryan and Esposito.

"You let me know as soon as she wakes, up, okay..._Ricky_?" he said, his voice filled with poison.

"Of course I will," I said peacefully. "I give you my word."

"Scout's honour?" he said, with the air that he was mocking me.

"No, I actually mean it this time."

And with that, he got up and walked out, catching up to Ryan and Esposito.

* * *

><p>Once everyone except Mr. Beckett and I left, we both turned to Kate, and prepared to say our own goodbyes. Mr. Beckett kissed his daughter on the top of her head, rubbed the top of her head, and gently slid a loose bracelet on her wrist. It was clear glass that caught the light with all colours of the rainbow. There were charms on them, and when I leaned in closer, I could see there was a heart, an angel, a bird...<p>

"It was Johanna's." Mr. Beckett explained. "Spirit charms. Each means something different. Love, health, freedom. It was hers ever since she was a child, and she treasured it all this time. Kate had her ring, I had this. That's all we have of her jewellery. I think Kate should have it now. Johanna will keep her safe."

"That's beautiful."

Mr. Beckett nodded with a smile.

The paramedic returned, just as I was preparing to say my goodbye. I didn't even know where to start, so needless to say, I was almost grateful for the interruption.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"Didn't you say visiting hours were ending?" I asked, slightly confused.

The paramedic smiled, and stepped closer to us, and said quietly. "George said that you guys were exceptions."

I cocked my head, still not understanding.

"I can't believe you guys drove all the way up from Canada. That's incredible. We don't want you to have to stay in a hotel, so George talked to Maud, and they filed a 'Special Overnight Request form' for the two of you, since you have come from so far away. We're permitting you to stay here in the hospital with Katherine until she wakes up. We do have space for you, of course, so it's really no trouble. Just don't tell anyone that we did this for you, since this is completely an exception."

_Wow, Georgie, I definitely underestimated you._ I was now willing to do just about anything for him now.

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words were coming out. Luckily Mr. Beckett found his voice.

"Thank you so much, sir."

"I'll be back in a bit with some beds for the two of you." And with that, he disappeared.

Once he left, Mr. Beckett ruffled my hair. "'Special Overnight Request form?' Hahaha!" he guffawed.

"You're really a special guy, Rick. Katie's lucky to have you looking out for her."

"No, sir. I'm lucky to have her." I said modestly.

* * *

><p>Long after Mr. Beckett went to sleep, I stayed up with Kate, in case she woke up in the middle of the night. I held her right hand in my hands. The one with the bracelet. I traced each charm with my finger, invoking their powers. <em>Heal Kate, tiny charms, heal Kate.<em>

I watched the gradual rise and fall of her chest as the ventilator breathed for her. She was alive, even if she didn't look it. I reached out and put my hand gently on the part of her stomach that wasn't covered by the dressing, so that I could feel her "breathing." So I could feel that she was in fact, alive. She seemed completely pain-free, sleeping peacefully for the first time in months since we started tracing her mother's killer. I sighed in relief.

I caught a glimpse of something shiny out of the corner of my eye. It was on her left ring finger.

When I saw what it was, I couldn't believed it.

Josh had already slipped the engagement rock on her finger.

He'd "proposed" to his comatose girlfriend.

I couldn't decide if it was cliché, or just tacky.

When Kate woke up, there would be a lot of drama that she would have to deal with.

I didn't want to add to that drama. I would let her do whatever would make her happy. If catching her mother's killer, and being with Josh were things that would make her happy, then so be it. But I would be there for her no matter what.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**I thought you guys, like Castle and the 12th peeps, needed a bit of good news. I hope you liked this! :)**

**Yes, I made Josh a jerk. I couldn't help it. I honestly think that he's shown that he's unavailable, that he puts himself and his career before Kate, and that he feels threatened by Castle, enough that he's become bitter and competitive when it comes to Kate. But now that he's proposed to Kate...uh oh! Next chapter "Ch. 6: What Are We?" coming up tonight or tomorrow! **

**It will be Jim Beckett's POV again. Feel free to review and tell me I didn't write Josh properly. I don't know very much about him, so I would really appreciate feedback, and knowing whether I overdid it a little, like I'm afraid I did.  
><strong>

**I know "Kate Rises" fics are a dime a dozen, but I just can't kill her off. So don't expect any twists. Drama, yes. Twists, no. I know Castle would be ashamed of me.**


	6. Ch 6: You Talk Too Much

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys! Big thanks to jag389 and glo1196 for their reviews. :) I really appreciated your thoughts, and am glad that you're enjoying this fic so far. **

**Thanks so much for reviewing!  
><strong>

**And thanks to everyone else who are reading this and added to Story Alerts – I think you're still here...You're all still out there, right? *crickets***

**Anyway, here's the next chapter, just a very short 1000word transitional one. It was going to be called "What are we now?" But I've changed it to "You Talk Too Much." I made this one differently. It's sort of a song fic moment within a fic, and refers to the Clarence Carter song. As usual, I don't own Castle, OR the song "You Talk Too Much." It belongs to Joe Jones, Clarence Carter and all those corporately affiliated with them. No copyright infringement intended.**

**It starts with Jim Beckett's POV, and will end with Castle's.**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 6: You Talk Too Much.<span>

Jim Beckett's POV

I dreamt that night, for the first time in years.  
>I dreamt that our family was together again, and that death, injury and alcoholism hadn't tarnished it.<p>

Kate was up and around, tearing around as usual. The brave, but practical and brilliant child she always was. Not afraid of anything but the dark. Even then she wasn't afraid to face her fears. She was afraid of the dark, but refused to use a nightlight. Not even a comforting teddy bear. Instead she stared down the dark and _dared_ it to harm her. She would wake up every morning an undefeated champion, undeniably proud of herself for conquering her fear even if she would never admit it. I'd never met a child as brave and self-fulfilling as our Kate.

Johanna, my beautiful wife, was alive. Some days, I can barely remember what she looks like, but in the dream, her face, her body, her spirit was as alive and vivid as it could be. Memories came floating back to me, like they'd never left me. She was such a good wife, and an amazing mother. The sound of her laugh was like music. The touch of her skin was like silk. She would do anything for me or Katie, and was a pillar of strength in our household.

Our son was alive. The son that we never told Kate about. We didn't tell her because we were so heartbroken when cancer took him at the tender age of two. We didn't want her to be heartbroken, like we were. We still kept his pictures around the house, told Kate that he was our godson, and that was it. If she'd ever asked about him, she had been satisfied with that answer. I felt bad for keeping it from her, and I planned to tell her after she woke up. Maybe the next day. Keeping secrets was exhausting, especially when it was from the person I loved most in the world.

_I saw our life flashing before my eyes, as if I was the one that had died. _

_I saw the day Johanna and I first met. In the college library, freshman year. We were both serious students. Both extremely nervous, but optimistic, just as any new university student would be. I remembered being amazed by her brilliance (she had a stack of heavy law books beside her, and was devouring them quicker than any mere mortal I'd ever seen) and astounded by her beauty, weeks before I was brave enough to talk to her. I watched her for some time, and the first thing she said to me was, "What?" Apparently watching her read was creepy. So I worked up the courage to talk to her, and asked her what she was reading, what she was studying, and what she wanted to be. I would come and talk to her every day, and eventually the polite library conversations about school became more personal conversations. Who we were. What we dreamed about. What our families were like. Who we wanted to be. Those deep, personal conversations graduated to weekly dinners at the most romantic restaurant in town. We hit it off, and were engaged on our graduation day._

_I recalled our wedding, I remembered our honeymoon in Siena, Italy. That was the most fun I'd ever had in my life. _

_The day she told me she was pregnant for the first time. With our first child. Our son, Little James. LJ for short. Completely like Johanna in looks and personality, despite being all boy, and named after me. Perfectly healthy, strong, and beautiful. Then, five years after LJ, Katie's birth. April 26th, 33 years ago. Katherine Siena. Beautiful and smart, just like her mother. Stubborn and passionate, just like me. _

_I watched us grow up together. Our children, both growing, thriving. Always happy. Always together. No losses, no deaths, no sickness, no funerals. I didn't have to bury my first child. I didn't have to keep his existence from Katie. My Johanna didn't die. My Kate didn't get injured. She grew up to be the first female president of the United States of America. A job that she was also great at. A job that required her to be protected at all times from anyone who would wish her harm. Not that anyone ever did._

I saw us grow older and older, and we were still alive when I woke up, and was forced back into reality.

We'd lost LJ.

We'd lost Johanna.

I'd almost drunk myself to death.  
>I'd almost lost Kate, but she was still a target.<p>

If only I'd never woken up.

* * *

><p><span>Castle's POV<span>

Once I was positive that Mr. Beckett was fast asleep and that I wouldn't bother him, I began to sing, as I kept watch over you, knowing you were safe, and healing.

I thought of the fact that we had a song. You said it yourself, we had a song together. Sure, it was a song that you dedicated to me simply for being my annoying self, but at the same time, it was a song that we shared together, so it meant the world to me. I loved to sing, but I only sang in front of my family, and that one time in the twelfth, when we sang The Piano Man. That was the twelfth precinct song that we all shared together. I still can't listen to that song to this day without getting misty.

So I took a deep breath, channeled Clarence Carter, and sang to you.

"You talk too much, you worry me to death,

You talk too much, you even worry my pet.

You just taaaaaaaaaalk, talk too much.

You talk about people that you don't know.

You talk about people wherever you go.

You just taaaaaaaaaalk, talk too much.

You talk about people that you've never seen.

You talk about people, you can make me scream.

You just taaaaaaaaaalk, talk too much."

I held your hand (the one with your mother's ring, not Josh's ring), and squeezed it gently.

_Hang in there Kate. I'm here for you. And I'm not going anywhere._

I thought I felt you twitch, but it could have just been my own shaking hands.

I sensed you were getting stronger by the minute. I stayed up with you all night, singing and talking to you, waiting for you to open your eyes with more enthusiasm than accompanies a little kid waiting for Christmas.

I couldn't wait to see you open your eyes. I couldn't wait to hear your voice again.

I couldn't even wait for you to insult me again.

Because I loved you, and the possibility of you coming back was more than I could ever hope for.

Even if you would continue to put your life in danger. Even if you were with Josh. Even if you didn't love me back.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**Thanks for reading! Feel free to share your thoughts, if you're still reading this. Next chapter should be bigger. Bigger, meatier and better. Hope you liked this!**


	7. Ch 7: My Eyes

**Author's Note: **

**Thanks to gloriajv, glo1196, and caskettismagic14 for their reviews! You guys are terrific! :)**

**Here's another. It's the long-anticipated chapter when Beckett wakes up! I tried to make up for the last one by making this one a lot longer. Last chapter was the shortest chapter I've written thus far for this story. Here goes! **

**Also, 100 Coolest Points go to the person that gets the reference of the title. :)  
><strong>

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 7: My Eyes<span>  
><span>(No one's POV)<span>

Castle and Jim Beckett stayed with Kate all night. Castle sang songs and told her stories to pass the time, and took relish in the fact that this was probably the last time she would ever allow him to sing to her like this. Not that she had the power to "disallow" him in the first place, though. She was still in the coma, but the doctors assured them that it had only been approximately seventeen hours since they eased her into it, and there was no cause for concern until she'd been out of it for more than a day.

Still, despite the fact that the only signs of life from Kate was the artificial rising and falling of her body as the machine breathed for her, Castle was in great spirits. He had high hopes for her, and just knew she would be back on her feet in no time. His great mood made everyone else calm down and feel at ease. Jim Beckett was grateful for his positivity because it kept him going, and prevented him from losing hope and turning back to the bottle.

Lanie, Ryan and Esposito were true to their word. They flocked over together on their lunch break the second day Kate was in the hospital, and returned after they were finished working and stayed another hour before visiting hours closed. Alexis came back too, and her support meant everything to Castle. She helped him stay positive. Martha went with Alexis, and brought take-out Chinese food for everyone there. Many of them had skipped meals throughout the day, so the group of friends was extremely grateful for this.

"Thank you, Mother," Castle told Martha later, with a small smile. "That was really sweet of you to do that."

"Don't be silly, kiddo," Martha said dismissively with a theatrical wave of her hand. "I wish I had been here yesterday when it first happened and I could have been there for you. I'm glad Kate's doing a lot better now."

"Me too."

"And honey, I brought you something else as well," Martha announced, digging around in her purse as she explained. "Since you've – been here – and – haven't had time to – change or – shower...ah, here it is!" With this last word, she pulled out a bag and smiled brightly like she was proud of herself for remembering. She held the bag out to her her son. "I've brought you shampoo, soap, deodorant, a toothbrush, your razor, clean underwear –" her voice got louder and louder with each item.

Castle's attempts at subtly shushing his mother weren't working. "Mother!" he interrupted, with a slightly whiny voice that he'd perfected in his teenage years. He grabbed the bag, and tried to cover it with his hands.

Martha chuckled, her smile brightened further, and leaned closer to tell him, "and a spare change of clothes." She patted the bag and gave Castle a peck on the cheek.

"Anyway, I left the tub running, so I've got to go! But you know where to find me if you need me." she started walking away.

"What, what?" Castle sputtered. But Martha was already halfway down the hall.

"Mother!"

"Yes, kiddo?"

Castle smiled again. This was one of the few times where his mother had gone out of her way to do something so sweet for someone else. And that someone was him. He was so grateful, he was suddenly speechless, which was indeed unusual for Richard Castle.

"Th – thank you. Thank you so much, Mother."

"Anytime, kiddo." Martha said with a smile and a wink. "Give my regards to Detective Beckett when she wakes up."

Castle nodded, still smiling fondly. Clutching the care package in his arms, he walked immediately to the hospital bathrooms. The others were there to watch Kate, and he needed a shower and change of clothes in the worst way. As he took the soap and shampoo out of the bag, he saw that Martha had actually brought him two changes of clothes. He'd offer the extra change of clothes to Mr. Beckett when he got back in the room.

* * *

><p>"Are – are you, sure, Rick?"<p>

"Of course! We've been waiting here for almost a whole day, and I'm sure you'd probably like a chance to freshen up by now."

Jim Beckett looked towards his sleeping daughter with a furrowed brow. So that was where Kate got it from.

"We'll be here with her," Lanie said warmly. "It's okay to take care of yourself now."

I reached out and offered him the clothes again. "They might be a bit big on you, but I'm sure they'll be more comfortable."

He smiled grimly, and nodded very slightly. "Okay. Thank you." He accepted the clothes, and walked to the bathrooms, while looking back occasionally, as if he wanted to make sure Kate didn't wake up while he was gone for that moment.

When Mr. Beckett left, my good old pal George came back.

I stretched out my arms like I was going to hug him. "Heeeeey, Georgie!"

George just looked at me.

I put my arms down, and was serious. I stepped outside into the hall and cleared my throat. "I would like to thank you for all that you've done for me yesterday and today. Especially when you didn't really know me at all."

"No, I knew who you were," he said gruffly.

"But it didn't matter, did it? You would have done that for anyone, wouldn't you?"

"You seemed desperate enough. And I had you watched specifically by security. I'm not stupid."

Castle smiled. "Whether you'll admit it or not, you are a great person, George. I wish we _had_ been friends in college."

He looked at the floor and then looked up at me. "So, about that favour."

Castle brightened. "Yes! Anything. What can I do for you?"

"Well..."

* * *

><p>"Seriously?"<p>

"Yep. That's the deal."

"And there's no way I could give you money, or a signed copy of my book, or a dedication or something?"

"I'm a medical professional. I don't need money. And I don't read."

"Oh!" Castle grabbed his heart in mock surprise. George was startled, and grabbed his radio. Castle looked up and held his hands up. "I'm fine!"

"Don't do that, man. Heart attacks are not a joke."

"Sorry."

"Anyway, a deal's a deal. But you can wait until after your girlfriend is awake."

"You're a good man, Georgie."

"Don't call me Georgie."

"Sorry!"

* * *

><p>When dinner was cleaned up and visiting hours were closed again, Jim Beckett and Castle remained.<p>

Jim Beckett took the moment that they were together to ask him a few questions.

"Hey, Rick?"

"Yeah?"

"Sorry if this is personal, but I need to know. From one man to another - why didn't _you_ ask Kate out?"

Castle swallowed, and prepared his answer very carefully. "Well, I would be lying if I said I'd never _thought_ about it."

Jim nodded, encouraging him to continue.

"We were never in sync when it came to relationships. She was always single when I was dating someone. I was dumped on my ass just as she met Josh. We were never in the right place at the same time."

"That's not the real reason, is it?"

Just like Kate. He knows when he's not being told the whole truth. Castle continued, even though he really didn't want to. "I told Kate I loved her after she was shot yesterday morning."

He wasn't surprised. "Why'd you do that?"

"Because it's true. I meant it."

"You do love her. You've loved her for a while, haven't you?"

Nod. "This is kind of weird to talk about..."

"Then don't let it be weird. We're just talking. That's all." Next question. "Why didn't you do anything before now?"

Now here was the thick of it. "I know her too well. I'm the yang to her yin. I'm the opposite of her, and that absolutely annoys her some days, and keeps her going on others. If I'm her friend, she has me no matter what, and she knows that. But if she dates me, things are riskier. Complicated. There's more to lose. She wants me around, even if she doesn't admit it, but she doesn't want_ me_. She doesn't want to depend on anyone. That's why she dates guys that she doesn't like as much. So she doesn't get attached. So she has nothing precious to lose."

Jim was quiet. "Beckett onion, huh?"

"She told you about that?"

"What?" Jim Beckett was confused. "I coined the phrase. Katie's been complicated since she could talk." He smiled nostalgically. "She still says it?"

"Once in a while."

He winked. "Well, that's Katie for you. Sounds like you've got her number, even if she didn't give it to you."

"Well, I'm quite proficient with 411."

Mr. Beckett laughed.

* * *

><p>Castle had fallen asleep by Kate's feet, his bottom half sitting on the floor, top half sprawled at the bottom of her bed. It gave him the shock of a lifetime being jostled awake with a slight kick in the head in the middle of the night.<p>

He sat up with a start, and was face to face with Kate. Awake. Her eyes were open and staring at him.

"Kate!" he whispered, eyes wide. Though he never doubted the fact that she would pull through, it was still a shock to see her, alive, awake, not comatose. She was so covered with tubes, the only thing visible were her beautiful fawn-brown eyes. Though they looked a bit worried right now.

"Can you hear me?" Castle asked.

She looked directly at him and blinked. He interpreted that as a yes.

Her forehead furrowed and she looked around. Since she still had the breathing tube in her mouth, she couldn't talk at all.

"It's three thirty on the morning of May 19th 2011. You're in the hospital," Castle explained gently. "The same hospital that Sorensen and Moran were in. Look familiar?"

Kate's eyes widened and she twitched slightly. Castle didn't know whether that was a yes or no. He looked at her eyes. They seemed calmer. She knew where she was now. But there was still a questioning look in her eyes.

"You were shot...while you were reading the eulogy at Montgomery's funeral," Castle said weakly. It was hard for him to recall. So painful to watch. So painful to relive.

Recognition. Good. And then she looked at him with a curious look that he didn't know how to interpret. She was asking him something that he didn't know how to interpret. When he didn't get it, frustration. And then she went cross-eyed trying to stare at the breathing tube that went through her mouth and in her body. Going cross-eyed gave her a headache, and she closed her eyes.

"That's a breathing tube. It probably feels horrible. I'll see about getting it removed."

Kate opened her eyes again.

"How are you feeling?" Castle asked gently. "Nauseous? In pain?"

Kate somehow managed to slightly shrug, but winced so violently her eyes closed and filled with tears. Castle took his lip between his teeth, and his brow furrowed in concern. He should know better than to ask Kate how she was feeling – she would never complain. She was probably in a lot of pain, like the doctors had warned she would be.

"Sorry, Kate. I'll try to understand."

He inched closer to her, so he was right at her bedside. "I – I was really scared, Kate. I'm glad you'll be okay." He started to hug her, but then stopped himself, worrying that he'd hurt her. So he picked up her hand, and squeezed it gently.

Her eyes darted around again, and then rested again on Castle.

"No, no, of course I'm not alone," he said quickly. "Your dad's been waiting here with you the whole time. He's just resting now. Lanie too. And Ryan, Esposito, Alexis and Josh came last night too, but they had to go to work, and Alexis had school. We're all pushing for you to get better soon." He stroked her hand again.

Her eyes moved again and she stared at the bracelet that jingled on her wrist. Her eyes were wide, and she seemed happy.

"Yes, that's your mother's bracelet," Castle said with a huge smile, touching it gently so that she could see the rainbow light reflecting off of it. "Your father brought it for you the first night. He said that your mother could watch over you this way."

Her eyes smiled. She was happy.

"I'm going to wake him up, okay?"

Kate's eyes narrowed.

"No? Okay, I'll let him sleep. It'll be a nice surprise for him when he wakes up."

She relaxed again.

"I'm going to go find a nurse and ask about removing your tube, okay? Blink twice for yes."

Kate stared at me, as if to say, "Don't go yet." She tried to lift her hand, but it was very difficult for her. Her hand came up, slow and heavy, and she placed it gently on Castle's shoulder. She looked at him, and blinked twice, slowly.

"You're welcome, Kate. Welcome back."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**YAY! Kate woke up! Hope you liked this chapter. I remember reading other fics that had her talking as soon as she was awake, and as much as I wanted to do that, I tried really hard to be realistic. Hope that didn't ruin it for you. **

**And I would now love to hear from you, whether you liked this, hated it, etc.,**

**Next chapter, you'll find out what George's mysterious favour was, Kate will talk, there will be a beautiful father-daughter moment, the ring from Josh will be addressed, and/or a head-to-head with Josh and Castle. Haven't 100% decided yet, but the next chapter should be interesting. :)**


	8. Ch 8: What Are We Now?

**Author's Note: **

**Sorry for the super long delay in updating – I've had a busy few days. Had to say goodbye to a lot of my friends as they went away to university. :( And began school, as I'm sure a lot of you have too. Hope things are going well with you all!**

**I would like to thank TheDanishWriter, Trisana Sarrasri, Jag389, gloriajv, Liz, glo1196, Caskettismagic14, Katherine Alexis Castle, and BeeIncarnate... You guys are great people. Thanks so much for leaving me such lovely feedback. I really appreciate it. :) Thanks to all the Story-Alert people too!**

**Here's Chapter 8! Hope you like it. I'm trying to make it longer, and since I'm currently on a five hour drive, and it's dark, then this is the only thing I can really do right now. Lol.**

**EDIT: I've been working on this for a few days now, so this is going to be a big update. Possibly epic, if everything goes my way. A lot of things are going to happen in it, and that is because this is likely going to be the second-last chapter. With the season premiere days away, I'm sure that I'm going to see the first episode and want to write a different, more "accurate" fic...because this one will just be too wrong for words, probably! ;) But I hope you like this second-to-last chapter, I'll try to tie up as many lose ends as possible, and stay tuned for a nice new fic!**

**Hang in there guys, only 3 days left! We've waited four months. We can wait these last few days!**

**~Pippa**

**Disclaimer: I own none of these characters, except for George. :) Sorry for the crazy long author's note.**

Chapter 8: What Are We Now?

Castle was asleep for the first time in over 24 hours. For once, he wasn't up silently begging Kate to wake up. He wasn't dreading every minute, fearing that her heart would suddenly stop and she would be gone forever. He wasn't sitting there in case she would actually wake up without warning, terrified that she didn't know where she was or where the people she loved were. She was safe, she was protected in the hospital, and that meant that he could sleep. He could relax, and actually know that she could do the same. He wasn't permitted to stay in the hospital any further, since the favour George had done him had already expired, since Kate was alive and conscious, which was a huge achievement from the way the doctors talked about it. It sounded like they were extremely close to burying her, and as much as Castle tried not to think about that fact, he found that thought consuming him every time he looked at her, or thought about her. The fact that the love of his life had almost been ripped away from him. The fact that he had been the one to put her in danger. He couldn't bear to look at Mr. Beckett either, knowing that his irresponsibility had put Kate, Mr. Beckett's only child, in danger, and she had almost died because of him.

It was bittersweet. Kate was alive, barely, but alive nonetheless, and she was expected to recover. But the integrity of the bullet was not maintained, and it was therefore impossible to determine what kind of bullet was shot at Kate. This was very unsettling for the hospital, as the assassin was not caught, and the chance at survival from one of those bullets was one-in-a-billion, especially from a trained marksman. Which this guy was. So the guys at the twelfth were forced to accept that they were no closer to discovering the identity of the man who shot one of their own.

More importantly, Kate was on a slow mend, but was ultimately progressing. She spent a lot of time sleeping, and wasn't very awake when she wasn't. Despite the many drugs they'd given her, Kate was still in a lot of pain. She insisted she wasn't, Castle knew her well enough to know that she was lying to him. For a brilliant, tenacious woman that always knew when she was being fed a load of garbage from a suspect – or a friend, for that matter – she was a phenomenally poor liar. But Castle didn't press her. He knew she wouldn't be honest with him, with anything. And as much as that hurt him, that was to be expected for now. She was still in shock over what happened, no doubt, and he would push for her to get therapy later. He remembered what Mr. Beckett told him about her when she first got out of the academy: she wouldn't admit it to this day, but she had been in a state of ongoing fear. Kate, the steadfast, immovable force, had been scared. She couldn't go anywhere without her gun and her badge at the ready. She couldn't help but discreetly track people that looked a bit "off" (like the motorcycle-riding, mullet-sporting yahoo in the grocery store, or even the heavily-tatooed woman that was standing stoically in the middle of the street, staring into space), as if she expected them to suddenly snap, whip out a sword and murder someone right in front of her...Mr. Beckett knew that Kate believed that as a police officer, she was responsible for everyone's safety, and that if anything happened to anyone around her whether she was on or off duty, then she failed. Just like the cops that failed her mother. And nothing he could say would offer her any comfort, and she would continue to beat herself up no matter what.

Castle tried to get the doctors to remove the breathing tube so that Kate could breathe on her own, but they insisted that it stay in for at least another day. "We can't be sure of exactly how much damage there is, so we want to ensure that there is as little stress placed on her system as possible." Castle was not pleased, as he could see that it was very painful for Kate. He could tell that she was willing herself not to cry, and forcing back tears most of the time. Her wound was still healing, so if she allowed herself to cry, the pain would be excruciating. To make matters worse, she couldn't let herself cry in front of him. She couldn't worry him more than he already was. And her father...her father wouldn't want his little girl to be in pain and have there be nothing he could do for her. So crying was out of the question. Talking was out of the question, too. The damn breathing tube was there to stay, and even though it was rubbing her throat raw, and making her feel nauseous. But as soon as her father walked through her hospital room door, she felt a smile just naturally spread across her face, or at least as far as it could go with the breathing tube still there.

He gave her butterfly kisses, like he used to do when she was small, and told her stories and jokes to pass the time. He told her the story about how he met her mother, he told her the story about the happiest day of his life (the day she was born, of course), and how he was so proud of her and loved her more than anything. A strong, stubborn man himself, Mr. Beckett wouldn't tell her that he couldn't live without her, and wouldn't tell her exactly how much he had worried about her while she was in surgery. He wouldn't tell her how scared he was. So, he simply reminisced about good times with her, and unconsciously held her hand tightly the whole time, as if he feared he'd lose her if he let go. It hurt her, but Kate was just so grateful to have him here with her, that she didn't mind this small bit of additional physical pain. Especially since it took away some of her emotional pain.

So far, Kate was never alone. Her time awake in the hospital so far was accompanied with either her father or Castle at her side, sometimes both. They took turns with her, so each one had their own private time with her. And the subjects of conversation stayed happy. She asked no more questions about the shooting, and Castle and her father didn't voluntarily tell her anymore.

She loved when her friends visited on their morning break. She could communicate with them now since Castle had given her a notebook and a pen to write with. While she was writing, she also made flash cards with various faces on them. She wasn't able to be very facially expressive with the ventilator, so the faces would help her illustrate (literally) how she was feeling, pain and mood combined.

"How are you feeling?" Castle asked.

Kate held up the face that just had a line for a mouth. The "so-so" face. Castle considered this. Judging by the fact that Kate would always downplay her pain, he estimated that she was in considerable amounts of pain right now. So if she said it didn't hurt at all, it probably hurt a bit. And if she said it only hurt a bit, then she was probably in a lot of pain. The way her eyes were sunken in, the way they were always glazed over, and the way she seemed to flinch every time she took in a breath; all of these confirmed it. But she was not allowed to be given any medication until they could be sure her body was completely free of toxins. So for now, there was nothing that could be done for her pain.

He nodded with a tight smile, grudgingly accepted her lie, and looked at the other faces she had drawn on separate pieces of paper ripped out of the notebook. One happy face. One face with a slight smile. One so-so face. One slightly sad face. One face that had tears. One that had X's for eyes. Even when she was injured, Kate Beckett had to do things efficiently.

"Jeez, KB, is there anything you can't do?" Rick had asked facetiously, in an attempt to cheer her up.

Kate smiled with her eyes, and picked up the pen and notebook.

**Nope.**

Castle smiled and said, "I didn't think so."

This got a satisfied eye-twinkle from Kate, and for a moment she looked happy. It lasted for a full three seconds, until she thought of something that was bothering her. She held up the face that looked slightly sad.

"What is it?"

She picked up her pen and paper, and scribbled a few words quickly.

**Where's Josh?**

Castle cringed. He obviously didn't want to tell her. "He's coming, Kate. He'll be here soon."

Liar.

Kate's eyes narrowed, and she underlined the question furiously. The pen made a thick intent in the paper, that likely affected several pages underneath. _Don't you dare lie to me._

Castle swallowed. "I tried calling him as soon as you woke up, but I haven't been able to get an answer from him."

Kate's face softened, and she looked sad. She started writing furiously again.

**Did you try his cell? It's 555-2948. He always has it with him. **

Castle nodded. "I know, Kate. I called his office and his cell. I left a message, so he should be here soon."

She wrote just one more word.

**Okay.**

She grimaced and gripped her writing wrist tightly with her left hand. She closed her eyes, and breathed in deeply.

"Are you all right, Kate?" Castle asked in concern, standing up. "Do you want me to get the doctor?"

Kate relaxed slightly, to show him that there was no cause for alarm, and just rubbed her wrist.

"Hand cramp?"

She nodded slightly, but then stopped abruptly. She'd admitted to feeling pain. Castle didn't seem to think anything of it.

"It must be too much writing for you. You should take it easy." He was quiet for a few moments before continuing. "We don't have to talk. I could just keep you company. I have a deck of cards. Finally, I'll be guaranteed to beat you at poker."

Kate's eyes twinkled. She would be smiling or laughing right now if she had the use of her mouth. But then she shook her head slightly, and reached with her left hand to pick up the paper and pen. She was switching hands. Apparently Kate was the Ambidextrous Detective. Wouldn't that make an excellent title for a book?

"Oh, you WANT to talk to me? Gee, Kate, I'm touched."

Kate looked at him in a condescending but playful way, and tapped the pad gently.

**You can talk enough for the both of us, Castle. You talk too much. You worry me to death.**

Castle laughed at the Clarence Carter reference, but the smile left his face suddenly when he wondered if she had heard him singing to her. Had she heard the discussion between him and her father?

Then Kate turned pale suddenly and her eyes widened and she got very preoccupied with something on her left hand. She was sure going through a roller coaster of emotions.

"What's wrong, Kate?" asked Castle, but then he saw what was worrying her. She had caught sight of the engagement ring on her left finger, and was staring at it with an indeterminable expression. Confusion? Anger? Humiliation? There wasn't a paper face for that...

Her dark eyes flashed when she looked at Castle, obviously demanding an explanation.

What was he supposed to say? Obviously Josh thought he would be here right when she woke up, and it could have potentially been a kind of romantic and beautiful moment... And it sure would have prevented this extremely awkward situation.

He shrugged. He had no idea what to say.

Kate looked up at him, and her eyes flared. She was furious. She grabbed the pen, with her right hand, and scribbled furiously:

**Did you do this, Castle? What the hell is this? What did you think you were doing!**

"N-NO!" Castle sputtered quickly. "No, no, that's not mine. It's Josh's."

Kate's eyes widened and she looked very much like a deer in the headlights. She blinked, stunned. For once, Kate Beckett didn't know exactly what to say.

"Do you want me to call him now?" Castle asked, shakily. He was very uncomfortable, and didn't know how to make this easier on Kate.

She swallowed, grimaced, and picked up the paper pad. She considered very carefully what she wanted to say, and wrote slowly:

**Yes, please. **

Castle nodded and stood up. "Another thing you need to know. I haven't said anything to anyone about this. It's still somewhat a secret. You, Josh and I are the only ones that know."

Kate stared straight ahead and said nothing. There were tears glistening in the corners of her eyes. Castle needed to leave. She needed to be by herself right now so she could think.

"I'll be back, Kate. See you soon."

Kate was now alone with her thoughts, which was a frightening thing. _Could he? Could he be my one and done?_

* * *

><p>Castle walked out of the room, and stepped forward when he received a text message. "Dad! Dad! Dad!" It was Alexis.<p>

"I'm here now, Dad! So is Martha, Lanie, Ryan and Esposito. we can't wait to see Detective Beckett! Love you lots, xoxo Alexis."

Castle smiled, and was feeling warm and fuzzy until he felt something big and heavy grab his shoulders and shove him. Hard. He hit the wall of the white hall with such force that the wind was knocked out of him. He looked up, blinking furiously, bewildered. Who had pushed him?

Once he caught his breath and could see straight, he looked up to see a very angry Josh staring at him, breathing heavily, eyes mad and accusing.

Castle sputtered, and was breathing, but couldn't talk coherently yet. He just stared back at Josh in utter confusion.

"What the fuck, Ricky?" Josh demanded. "What are you doing spending time alone with MY girlfriend, and NOT calling me and telling me that she was about to wake up?"

"I tried, I really -"

"She's probably seen the ring. I was supposed to be there with her when she saw it. You RUINED it."

"...You were out of line," croaked Castle.

"What?"

"That was all wrong. Kate deserves a decent proposal. Not a sucker punch to the face when she's the most vulnerable."

Josh's nostrils flared and he looked quite dangerous. "You ASSHOLE!" He grabbed Castle again.

Castle forced himself to chuckle, even though he actually was quite scared. "Oh, look, you're at least giving me a chance to fight back now. Not that super cowardly cheap shot you did before."

"Shut the fuck up!"

Castle was pinned. His arms were raised above his head, and Josh was inches away from him. He was trying to intimidate him. He kneed Castle in the groin, and Castle slid down the wall, groaning in pain.

"Why don't you fight back, chickenshit?" sneered Josh. "I thought you learned all kinds of combat tricks from my girl. Why don't you use them and stop. Being. Such. A. Wimp!" He punctuated each word with a punch to Castle's crumpled body. Castle made no move to fight back. Kate would never forgive him if he attacked her boyfriend. Instead, Rick stood up awkwardly, cracked his joints, and nodded at Josh provocatively.

Josh bared his teeth and stepped towards Castle abruptly, intending to intimidate him, but the novelist did not flinch; instead he puffed himself up to his full height, so he was just an inch taller than Josh.

He looked at him calmly, despite the pain he felt in his left eye. That was going to be a shiner. And don't even get started on his wounded manhood. Figuratively, and literally. Castle touched the side of his head and felt something wet. Blood? Sweat? Whatever. He called Josh out again.

"Do you fix little children with the same hands you're using to attack an innocent man?"

Josh glared at him, and clenched his fists so tightly his knuckles turned white. He made another threatening move towards Castle, but Castle did not flinch.

"Can we just talk? Like a pair of civilized men? Novelist to Doctor. Mano a mano." Castle asked, genuinely.

Josh bared his teeth, grabbed a non-protesting Castle's shoulders. "Okay, I guess one or both of us needs to work on our Spanish," Castle chuckled in a goodhearted manner as he was shoved again. Castle didn't go very far, and didn't fall over, but he shuffled awkwardly back to where he had originally been standing.

"This is all your fault!" Josh bellowed, walking towards Castle again.

"Josh, don't," Castle said calmly, but the now beet-faced doctor did not slow down.

Then there was a high-pitched cry, and a small red-haired figure flew at Josh. She pummelled him with fists so quick they were nothing but blurs, and finished it with an uppercut to the nose. Josh's eyes were as large as sand-dollars, and he turned a pale green colour before he staggered and fell, heaving as he tried to catch his breath.

Alexis angrily threw herself towards him again, but Castle firmly, but gently, grabbed her from behind, preventing her from taking another hit at Josh. "That'll do, brave bird. That'll do." He smiled, and touched his daughter's cute little nose affectionately with his pointer finger. He then pulled her close and hugged her while supporting her head. "Thanks for having my back, baby girl. Good to know that all those years of self-defence classes paid off."

Martha, and Lanie ran towards Castle to hug and comfort him, while Ryan and Esposito stepped towards Josh disdainfully. He tried to get up, but Esposito stepped on his hand. Josh grimaced and groaned in pain.

"Not cool, bro," Ryan said, shaking his head. "Doctor or not, you mess with him, you mess with all of us."

"Now back the fuck down." Esposito snapped.

Josh did back down, and the dynamic duo handcuffed him roughly. "Josh Davidson, you're under arrest for assault against a member of the NYPD."

If Castle hadn't been bleeding from his head at that moment, he would have relished the fact that Josh's bloody face was contorting into extremely amazingly foul facial expressions and turning all kinds of incredible colours, but he was too preoccupied with the fact that at that moment, he was considered a member of the NYPD. At least as far as Josh's arrest was concerned.

Esposito pushed Josh forward, and he and Ryan led him out of the hospital.

* * *

><p><em>10 minutes later...<em>

"One of us has to tell her."

"You tell her."

"Nuh-uh. You should tell her."

"I can't tell her!"

"Come on Dad, you can tell her."

"Kiddo, she deserves to know."

"It should come from you, Rick."

Lanie, Martha, Alexis, and Mr. Beckett all looked at Castle simultaneously, and nodded sympathetically. Castle swallowed, and nodded, and prepared to walk into Kate's room. He was all cleaned up, and no longer looked like a battle victim. The head wound was cleaned, and the bruise on his eye was deep, so it would not show up for another few days. He appeared okay in body but not in spirit. He still walked with a limp because of the groin attack, but if he walked slowly, it was less obvious. He was embarrassed by how big a fuss was made over him, since he was nowhere near as damaged as Kate.

Castle swallowed, and told himself that Josh was very clearly an asshole, and that Kate was a strong, beautiful and intelligent woman who deserved a man that was infinitely better than Josh. A man that loved her more than anything, would put her first no matter what, would always be right there by her side, would tell her that she was beautiful, sexy and smart, and never let her forget that she was the best woman in the world, and he was lucky to have her.

_Me... _Castle thought.

God this was going to be hard.

Stepping into the room gingerly, he knew that he was about to take away the one possibly happy thing left in Kate's life. She lost Montgomery, she almost lost her life, and now she was about to lose her honourable boyfriend.

Kate's face went from a dull slate to a bright visage when she saw him. Her eyes lit up, and she grabbed the pad and pen. Scratched, but beautiful fingers moved rapidly as she wrote, back and forth, back and forth.

**Hi Rick! I've been thinking. I never thought that Josh could be my one and done before today. But then I thought about it. I'm happy with him. I feel like he can take care of me. I think I love him as much as he loves me. He's showing me that he wants to make an effort and be there for me. I think this could be a turning point for us. I'm thinking of accepting his proposal. **

She looked completely neutral until she caught sight of Castle's expression. He was looking melancholy when he first walked in, and as he read her note, she could tell he was getting deeper and deeper into emotional depth that was the road less travelled for Richard Castle.

Her forehead furrowed. She grabbed the pad back from him and quickly scribbled another note.

**What happened to you? You're bleeding.**

Castle put his hand to his head again, and touched blood again. He sighed. It had started bleeding again. For once, Castle was not grateful for his battle wound. It was going to make things so much harder on Kate. He opened his mouth to speak, but Kate's brow was already furrowed again, and she was writing quicker than he could think of a reasonable explanation. She held up the pad and stared right at him, demanding an explanation.

**Where's Josh? What HAPPENED?**

There was no turning back now. Castle sighed, and started to shake his head. "Kate..."

Kate sat up in bed slowly, grimacing in pain and trying to swallow the wave of nausea and dizziness that overcame her. Castle reached out with both hands, and tried to get her to relax, but she was sitting up and staring at him before he could stop her. Kate looked at Castle in the eye and reached out with her writing hand. She put it on top of Castle's badly scuffed hand, and squeezed it weakly.

_You can tell me anything. Always._

Kate knew. She just knew.

* * *

><p>Kate was horrified when Castle finished the story. She was humiliated, and hurt, and above else, furious. At Josh, first. How could Josh do this to him? How dare he attack her partner? An innocent man that thought the world of her and not saved her life more times than she could count, made it fun and worth living. And what Josh did to her...? How dare he put her on the spot, and propose to her when she was comatose? How dare he add even more drama to her plate? How DARE he propose to her at all, when he hadn't been there for her, and was distant and just unavailable?<p>

But above all else, she was angry at herself. It was_ her _boyfriend that did this to her partner. If there was anyone to be angry at, it was her. It was so over between her and Josh. If she had had enough strength, she would rip the ring off her finger and throw it across the room. And then consider dipping her finger in acid. Or cutting it off. But that didn't matter. What did matter was that her partner had just been attacked by HER asshole boyfriend. She couldn't believe it. She was furious, and wanted to kill him. If it weren't for the breathing tubes and the fact that her whole chest still burned and screamed with pain every time she took a breath, she would have marched right down to the twelfth herself, and said more than a few choice words to him. But for now, she had to make amends with Castle. He was hurt, and it was her fault.

**Castle...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry...**

"It's not your fault Kate. It's my fault."

**Don't be stupid. You're hurt.  
><strong>

Castle waved her note away dismissively. "I'm fine."

**You did nothing wrong, Castle.**

"If I hadn't been arrogant and reopened this case, Montgomery would still be alive right now. You wouldn't be hurt. You still would be an amazing detective and a brilliant and beautiful woman, but no one would want you dead. You wouldn't be constantly put into danger every time you go out into the world. You would be able to have an ordinary life.

Kate's eyes narrowed, and she wrote back stubbornly:

**Maybe I'm tired of ordinary. Maybe I want extraordinary. **

"You're extraordinary the way you are," retorted Castle, "and you were that way before people were trying to kill you."

The injured detective's mouth became tight and defiant around the breathing tube. She glared at Castle in desperation, and flipped to a page that she had already prepared. On the spot, out of frustration, she added another sentence, and underlined it.

**We need to talk. You are delusional. **

Castle looked around the room before staring downward, and pinching the bridge of his nose. "Wait, what? We're actually going to talk, now?" He looked at Kate, with his elbows resting on his knees, and palms facing up, before continuing, "About something serious that matters, but doesn't have anything to do with work? When have we ever done _that_?" His tone was incredulous and hopeless.

Kate's heart broke and her eyes filled up with tears, but this time, she didn't bother hiding it. She'd hurt her partner, and she'd been too scattered and self-focused to notice. The record needed to be set straight, and it needed to be set straight _now_. Shaking fingers grabbed the spotting pen again. It took her a few minutes to write this next message.

**Castle. You've been nothing but good to me. YOU encouraged me to catch my mom's killer. YOU kept me going. YOU made it easy and FUN. You helped me be strong when I felt the weakest and most vulnerable. You're one in a million and you shouldn't regret ANYTHING that's happened.**

He shook his head. "But I do. I regret everything I ever did to get you here."

Kate passed him the pad again, and glared at him suspiciously again.

**You weren't planning on ever telling me why I'm still here, were you?**

"What are you talking about?"

**My dad told me what you did. I would have been a goner if it weren't for you. Do you regret saving my life?**

"You're strong, Kate. You would have made it," Castle said nonchalantly. Kate flipped another page that was covered in writing. She'd prepared this. Her wrist must be killing her by now.

**Dad told me everything. He did what no one else around here would. He told me the truth. I'm a detective, I deal with facts. And now, so do you. So...Fact. I would have died if that bullet had hit me head on. Another fact. It would have hit me head on, but YOU protected me. You tried to push me out of the way, and succeeded in moving me just enough out of the way so that my life was spared. Third fact. You would have taken that bullet if you could have. If you hadn't tried to push me out of the way, I wouldn't be here right now. That bullet would have destroyed me. And what's left of my family.**

Castle shook his head. He didn't want to even think about what would have happened had that bullet run its course. No. He wouldn't. He couldn't.

**I promised you I would stay with you. You asked me to stay with you. I said "Always." You just didn't hear me.  
><strong>

"What?" Castle asked. Was she referring to...?

Kate rolled her eyes, and grabbed the pad. She wrote, and thrust the pad at Rick.

**I love you too, you idiot.  
><strong>

Castle looked over at her, and watched Kate intently. "Are you feeling all right?" He reached over and put his hand on her forehead. Cool as a cucumber. Castle couldn't say the same for himself.

"Are you...serious?"

Kate stared at him, unwavering.

"Kate, you have no idea how long I've waited to hear that," Rick said simply, with a huge dorky grin spreading over his face.

Kate held up a paper face: the happiest one with a wide grin that matched Castle's.

* * *

><p><em>2 Days Later...<em>

"Castle! Wait!"

Castle turned around, searching for the source of the voice.

George ran up, and by the time he got to Castle, he was completely out of breath.

"Calm down, Georgie, I'm not going anywhere yet. Visiting hours don't end for another forty-five minutes. Right?"

George took a deep breath, cleared his throat, and started talking.

"Well, you know how you said that you would do any favour for me in exchange for helping you out and letting you stay here for a few days? And then I told you the favour I wanted, and you didn't want to do it?"

"...Yes...?" Castle replied, cautiously.

George ignored the hesitation in Castle's voice, and continued.

"Well, instead of having you clean all the bed pans of the geriatric patients like I'd originally asked – I've since discovered that, apparently, I am not allowed to allow outsiders to perform tasks like that – I was thinking it might be better suited if you would come here once a week for readings. To the long-term care patients. They need some entertainment, and most of them are quite familiar with your work. As much as I wanted to get someone else to do the bed pan cleaning, I'm sure that this would be better suited for your skills, and I'm sure the patients would get a lot out of it."

George paused and let the terms of agreement sink in. "Do you accept? A deal's a deal?" he asked.

Castle smiled. "I would love to."

George nodded. "Perfect! Be here every Saturday at 6 pm, and read until 9. We will provide you with

water."

"Uh, thanks George, that's very generous. Sounds like a plan."

George rocked on the tips of his toes awkwardly. He had no more to say.

"Actually, George?"

"Mm?"

"I was planning on talking to you about a donation to the hospital, if that's okay."

"Yes, of course! What are you looking for?"

"Well I have something very specific in mind."

* * *

><p>"The Beckett-Castle Support Ward for Bereaved and Orphaned Children and Young People?"<p>

"I knew you would love it." Wink.

"Wow, Castle...I can't believe you did this. Thank you."

"It's going to help so many people. They won't have to suffer in silence. There will be counselling, mentoring programs, fun activities for them to do...I just really think it's going to be great."

Kate smiled. "Especially if it's got our names attached to it."

Castle made a face. "I know it's a bit of a mouthful, but they insisted that calling it the Caskett Ward was in bad taste."

Kate Beckett playfully swatted Castle in the arm with the paperwork. She was recovering quite nicely. Just taken off the ventilator the day before, Kate was breathing and, fortunately for Castle, talking on her own now. Her dad and her friends were thrilled that she was doing so much better, and showered her with flowers, cards and presents to celebrate her soon-to-be homecoming, which would occur "as soon as Katherine feels up to it," according to George. It was just days away, since Kate could already sit up in bed now, and almost ready to try standing and walking. That would likely happen the next day.

In the middle of the day, when Beckett and Castle were eating the hospital lunch food that was just stereotypically awful, they didn't talk for a few minutes. He would look at her, and she would be concentrated on eating (she was starving, as it was her first solid food in almost 2 days). She would try to catch his eye, and he'd be poking at his tray, trying to figure out if the casserole was moving on its own, or if he had just bumped it.

"I did call him, you know."

Castle looked up from his haunted tray of food. "Sorry?"

Kate sighed, put her fork down, and leaned in closer to Castle. She spoke in a significantly lower voice.

"I called Josh last night, after you left."

"Oh."

There was an awkward pause, before Castle spoke again. "I didn't ask."

Kate's small chuckle became a lilting laugh, and Castle reflected on how much he missed her laugh.

"You were _not_ asking very loudly," she said softly.

Castle winked. "I know. I'm a jedi like that." But he became serious a few seconds later.

"Are you okay?"

Kate looked at him in the eye, pursed her lips, and calmly shrugged. "Never better."

"Good."

There was silence again, and Castle opened his mouth to speak. Beckett cut him off.

"No, I don't want to tell you what I said to him..."

"Aww..." Castle groaned sarcastically. "It's okay, Kate. You don't have to tell me what you said. That's personal."

"...because I recorded it." She winked playfully.

"What?"

"Yep. I have a recording of that phone call."

"...Why?"

"Now don't get any ideas." Kate said in a mocking manner. "Because I don't think my impression of his snivelling, whining drone would be accurate enough."

"Ha-ha. Now why did you actually record it?"

"I will just keep it to myself." She looked down shyly, and repeated: "Yes, I'm going keep it. To remind myself to never be stupid like that again. If I've got something special, right in front of me, acknowledge it and hang on to it like my life depends on it. And if I've got a dud, just let it go like it means nothing to me. Instead of keeping the jerk and letting the sweet one go on being...under-appreciated."

Castle blushed softly, and found that he was speechless.

Beckett looked back at him fondly and bit her lip softly. She looked away shyly, but eventually returned his loving gaze.

"It sounds like you've got things figured out, KB," Castle managed.

"I'm working on it," she replied coolly and looked away again. "I'm not perfect."

"You are to me," Castle said softly. He meant it too. He was so genuinely sweet, and fiercely loyal, and that's why he was perfect, too.

Kate looked back at him in surprise, and her lips parted as she tried to think of an appropriate thing to say. But before she could, Castle leaned in close, and, almost in slow motion, kissed her tenderly on the lips. Despite it being the second time they'd kissed, Kate was overcome with love and appreciation for the lowly novelist she'd previously overlooked. She allowed herself to give into these feelings for the first time in 4 years, and gave herself to him, kissing him back with enthusiasm. She imagined themselves being joined together forever in this way, and wondered if this was how her Nikki Heat counterpart would do it. She ran her fingers through his hair, and when they broke apart, she smiled like a little kid, or Richard Castle, on Christmas.

"Let's try this again," Rick said, and Kate was quiet. He smiled, and in between words, he kissed her passionately on her soft pink, now upturned mouth.

"I love you, Kate Beckett." Castle said, touching his forehead softly to hers with the final word.

"I love you, Rick," she declared, almost as if she was admitting it to herself. She'd never been able to say it out loud before now. "I love you, I love you, I love you." With each successive "I love you," she felt as though her love for Rick Castle was multiplying. She felt that she was one with him, and felt that he could only be her one and done.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>

**Over 6200 words of Caskett Love. Sorry it got a bit cliche towards the ending. I've never actually written romance before. This is my first romantic fic, I've just realized. So I hope it wasn't awkward and that it worked out. Let me know if not though, so I can learn! **

**This was supposed to be the ending, but there was no Beckett-to-Beckett moment, or Mr. Beckett-to-Castle moment, and it's honestly incomplete without either. I think I would like each friend (Lanie, Esposito and Ryan) to talk to her as well. The next one will be the official ending. With EVERYTHING wrapped up nicely, if things go my way. Next one is the epilogue, so hang on! :)  
><strong>

**I was thinking, and I've decided that I might actually make some spin-offs from this - possibly a short oneshot containing a transcription of the call to Josh, a fic that shows Castle doing the readings at the hospital and the people he sees while there, the day they set up the B-C Counselling Ward, or I might do the usual fluffy Castle Marriage-and-Babies fic, even though those are SO common, haha. I haven't decided, but will likely be inspired by the new season. So stay tuned! :)**

**I would especially like your feedback on this chapter, since it's quite different and much longer than the other chapters before it. So if you have time, and feel like writing me a review, I would really appreciate that!**

**Ch 9: Epilogue should be up sometime this weekend! :)**

**~Pippa**


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